Facebook Wiped Away

I can't say I didn't see this coming, it is something I've mentally prepared myself for, considering all the bad things that have happened, I'm now always assuming for the worst, so that I won't be too shocked when it does happen.

Last night (on Valentine's summore), around 11pm Malaysia time I noticed my guy's Facebook shows he logged in an hour ago. You can see the time stamp either on PC or Facebook messenger app. This is the 3rd time it has happened since I lost contact with him in December. The first 2 times were brief, it happened in the afternoon / early evening, without any activity, and all the messages I left him were not read. I've always assumed it is the cops from Australia since his parents said he hasn't used his phone at all. And it's definitely not him now, since phone/pc usage is not allowed in the institution.

But last night, whoever it was that was online, stayed online for almost 2 hours, and finally clicked into the messages I sent him, with the time stamp indicating it was 'Seen at 11.45pm'. I was so stunned I immediately texted 'Please say something, whoever you are' and 'I know M would not ignore me, so whoever this is, please just tell me who you are and what do you want'. However my efforts were fruitless, as that person didn't click to see the message even though he/she stayed online for a few more minutes.

What's more disturbing is that my guy's profile appears to have been wiped clean, meaning all the info in the 'About' section, all the photos he uploaded, his friends list, and his timeline is completely empty. Those posts have either been deleted, or restricted from being viewed by other people. I'm not sure if it's only me that has been restricted, so I asked his cousin, but the cousin was busy and didn't bother to check his fb. I doubt this was done by someone in Australia coz it was already so late, and on a weekend. I suspect it is his family in Canada, but why would they do that? Do his parents want to stop me from reaching him? How did they get his password? If they wanted to limit my access to him, why not just unfriend or even block me? I'm still friends with him on fb, but there's nothing left on his profile, except for a profile pic and a cover photo.

Soooooo many questions, it is all too mysterious....... My therapist has been telling me I shouldn't concern myself over things I don't know and have no control over. All the What If's and uncertainty will just torture my mind endlessly if I keep thinking about it and make all kinds of assumptions. Until I get an actual answer from his side, I should stop worrying.

It has been exactly 2 months now since we last spoke. I'm emotionally exhausted, frankly I'm already feeling better and parts of me have already moved on and I'm getting on with my life. Last week I wrote an email to his parents and attached a letter to my guy to explain my side of things, and to say everything that needed to be said. The parents are upset at me over some things that happened prior to the incident in Australia. But I feel no guilt now, because I've already done everything that I could have, and most importantly I know my guy doesn't blame me, and he still loves me.

Will continue to pray for his recovery, and hope his family will see that I'm not the one to blame.

XOXO
Be Stong