It's the start of a new semester, and upon discovering some unexpected news yesterday, my heart dropped to my stomach, and my immediate thought was 'Oohhhhhh fucckkkk!!!!!'.
Guess who's back in my life.... ERIC. For those who have been reading my blog since 2010, you will know that there's only 1 Eric I talk about here (Not the blogger).
Long story short, he is a senior that I had a major crush on, and I ended up doing some really disturbing things to him... such as stalking his Facebook, sending deluded emo letters. My biggest regret was forcing him into a corner and making him admit he's gay. Whenever I say I've done some crazy shit in the past, I refer to this incident.
For those who are interested to know the details of my hall of shame, kindly refer to the posts from July 2010 to September 2010. I think the peak of the craziness was August.
So yeah... basically things just got SUPER awkward after that. I can't even look at him in the eye anymore. Whenever we bump into each other in campus, I will look away as I walk past him. Guess I'm humiliated by my past actions.Thankfully we rarely meet, maybe a couple of times each semester.
But thanks to certain events which I will not disclose, we will be seeing each other a lot this sem. Like 3 times each week, on official matters. Luckily it will be a whole class so I hope I won't have to actually speak to him.
I guess we all have some sort of regrets in life, and this is definitely mine.
Oh well.........
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Bukkake
I'm back :)
OK if you don't know what Bukkake is, you are either way too innocent or have no access to the Internet or pornography. And no, I'm not referring to the Bukkake of serving noodles. It's the explicit kind.
A little info and history here...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bukkake_%28sex_act%29
So any of you guys ever had the fantasy to be in one? I definitely have and would love to be the center piece or "victim" haha!! Getting cummed on by a group of men is an incredible turn on, for me at least. And I guess this would constitute as safe sex, since there is no penetration involved.
It's just like a circle jerk, but instead of having everyone cum on themselves, now everyone makes a circle and cums on one person!
Another turn-on on a lesser degree would be also to have a circle jerk but in the end, everyone cums in a wine glass (or similar transparent container) and we accumulate up all the cum into a large volume! Then maybe pour it over someone hahahaha! Of course this would require good targeting skills from the participants haha :P Those who have watch porn on this will know what I mean ;)
I know this is crazy and spontaneous, but I feel like throwing such a party haha. Bukkake I mean.
Anyone interested just drop me a mail jboy@live.com.my and if I have the free time and able to find a suitable time and place, then it's all systems go!!
It's not considered sex if there's no penetration, so don't worry hahaha!
OK if you don't know what Bukkake is, you are either way too innocent or have no access to the Internet or pornography. And no, I'm not referring to the Bukkake of serving noodles. It's the explicit kind.
A little info and history here...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bukkake_%28sex_act%29
So any of you guys ever had the fantasy to be in one? I definitely have and would love to be the center piece or "victim" haha!! Getting cummed on by a group of men is an incredible turn on, for me at least. And I guess this would constitute as safe sex, since there is no penetration involved.
It's just like a circle jerk, but instead of having everyone cum on themselves, now everyone makes a circle and cums on one person!
Another turn-on on a lesser degree would be also to have a circle jerk but in the end, everyone cums in a wine glass (or similar transparent container) and we accumulate up all the cum into a large volume! Then maybe pour it over someone hahahaha! Of course this would require good targeting skills from the participants haha :P Those who have watch porn on this will know what I mean ;)
I know this is crazy and spontaneous, but I feel like throwing such a party haha. Bukkake I mean.
Anyone interested just drop me a mail jboy@live.com.my and if I have the free time and able to find a suitable time and place, then it's all systems go!!
It's not considered sex if there's no penetration, so don't worry hahaha!
Saturday, February 11, 2012
The Dreaded V
Haha it's just around the corner, so I'm surprised no one has really mentioned it yet.
The much dreaded V. If you think about it, many things that we dislike/hate/fear begin with the letter 'V'. Examples:
Vomit
Vulnerability
Violence
Villan (nobody likes the bad guy)
Vacant (empty, lonely)
Vague (when someone is hiding something from us)
Vanished (when you can't find something you really need)
Variable (when you're craving for some constancy in life)
Victim (when you fall prey)
Venom (when you're bitten by a snake)
Vegetables (applies to meat lovers/carnivores)
Vampire (applies if you're a Lycan)
Vagina (LOL, nuff said)
If you still haven't guessed what I'm talking about, here's a Virtual slap hahaha :P
Yes for all of us Singletons out there, this is the day where we become oh so conscious of our relationship status. Despite being very comfortable as an independent, solo, individual, and constantly advocating how life can be so much less complicating being a soloist to your own musical, I can't help but feel uneasy on this day.
I know it's just a 'holiday' that corporations came up with in order to sell greeting cards, roses and chocolates, but still it plays with your head a little... like a reminder that there's something not quite right about me for remaining single on this day yet again for over 20 years.
You know I'm actually glad that it falls on a Tuesday. Then everyone will have to work/go to class and so there won't be much time to make a big deal out of it. Maybe just a fancy dinner and some extra special sex to mark the occasion, then it's off to bed early to get ready for the next day. Hahaha I'm evil I know :P
OK I don't want to be bitter. For those who are attached, I hope you will enjoy yourselves!!
P.S. Don't choke on the heart shaped chocolates :P
<3
The much dreaded V. If you think about it, many things that we dislike/hate/fear begin with the letter 'V'. Examples:
Vomit
Vulnerability
Violence
Villan (nobody likes the bad guy)
Vacant (empty, lonely)
Vague (when someone is hiding something from us)
Vanished (when you can't find something you really need)
Variable (when you're craving for some constancy in life)
Victim (when you fall prey)
Venom (when you're bitten by a snake)
Vegetables (applies to meat lovers/carnivores)
Vampire (applies if you're a Lycan)
Vagina (LOL, nuff said)
If you still haven't guessed what I'm talking about, here's a Virtual slap hahaha :P
Yes for all of us Singletons out there, this is the day where we become oh so conscious of our relationship status. Despite being very comfortable as an independent, solo, individual, and constantly advocating how life can be so much less complicating being a soloist to your own musical, I can't help but feel uneasy on this day.
I know it's just a 'holiday' that corporations came up with in order to sell greeting cards, roses and chocolates, but still it plays with your head a little... like a reminder that there's something not quite right about me for remaining single on this day yet again for over 20 years.
You know I'm actually glad that it falls on a Tuesday. Then everyone will have to work/go to class and so there won't be much time to make a big deal out of it. Maybe just a fancy dinner and some extra special sex to mark the occasion, then it's off to bed early to get ready for the next day. Hahaha I'm evil I know :P
OK I don't want to be bitter. For those who are attached, I hope you will enjoy yourselves!!
P.S. Don't choke on the heart shaped chocolates :P
<3
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Recovery
Thanks everybody for putting up with yet another dramatic tantrum of mine. At least it doesn't come as frequent as the times I needed to dig a tampon out from my purse, or the times I've tried to smuggle some pastries out from the buffet spread nonchalantly.
I'm kidding. For those of you who don't have a sense of humour, at least you should have some innate sarcasm. Sorry... been watching a little too much of sarcastic American TV lately :P
Things seem to be back in control. Perhaps the whole feeling unwell thing had something to do with the fact that I was actually falling ill. Been having some nasty food poisoning... and I will spare you the details. All I can say is thank god someone invented the sitting toilet. And I don't think I will crave salmon anytime soon.
The bad stuff is still not fully out from my system yet, and my stomach is bloated like crazy. Oh wait... I'm starting to give details that you don't need to hear haha!
Perhaps the whole emotional and stomach meltdown is a sign of some sort. Coz if I wasn't feeling ill over this 4 day long weekend, I could bet my ass that I would have definitely went slutting around. Ooppsy, now that just sounds bad. OK I know this type of lifestyle is dangerous, so I'm trying to cut down on it. On my way to sluttiness recovery too LOL.
Yes, so the theme of my February will be recovery.
As for Tulsy's Y&C month long theme, I've posted a comment on Vincent's Y&C blog post which I thought was geniusly written. Brilliant job Vince ;) OK, I know 'geniusly' is not a real word, but what the heck, I'm young and cute so I can get away with it hee hee hee. *wink wink kiss kiss hug hug*
_______________________________________________________________________________
Note: Once again, bear in mind that I'm being sarcastic. And for the record, I would never actually admit to being young and cute hehehe :P
I'm kidding. For those of you who don't have a sense of humour, at least you should have some innate sarcasm. Sorry... been watching a little too much of sarcastic American TV lately :P
Things seem to be back in control. Perhaps the whole feeling unwell thing had something to do with the fact that I was actually falling ill. Been having some nasty food poisoning... and I will spare you the details. All I can say is thank god someone invented the sitting toilet. And I don't think I will crave salmon anytime soon.
The bad stuff is still not fully out from my system yet, and my stomach is bloated like crazy. Oh wait... I'm starting to give details that you don't need to hear haha!
Perhaps the whole emotional and stomach meltdown is a sign of some sort. Coz if I wasn't feeling ill over this 4 day long weekend, I could bet my ass that I would have definitely went slutting around. Ooppsy, now that just sounds bad. OK I know this type of lifestyle is dangerous, so I'm trying to cut down on it. On my way to sluttiness recovery too LOL.
Yes, so the theme of my February will be recovery.
As for Tulsy's Y&C month long theme, I've posted a comment on Vincent's Y&C blog post which I thought was geniusly written. Brilliant job Vince ;) OK, I know 'geniusly' is not a real word, but what the heck, I'm young and cute so I can get away with it hee hee hee. *wink wink kiss kiss hug hug*
_______________________________________________________________________________
Note: Once again, bear in mind that I'm being sarcastic. And for the record, I would never actually admit to being young and cute hehehe :P
Saturday, February 4, 2012
State of Mind
Been having horrible mood swings since Friday. One minute I'm fine and everything is in control and the next I feel like the world is crashing on me or something.
My mind is in a really ugly place right now. Not all the time, but I get these dips in my mood. There is so much frustration combined with anger and disappointment just needing release. And the thing that upsets me most is that the reason I'm upset, the trigger of all of this is so petty and meaningless on the grand scale of life and all..... hence I'm pissed at myself for being pissed at something that's not even worth pissing about.
I feel horrible for not being able to control and calm myself. For a very long time I have taken pride at finally being at peace with myself and enjoying life and not getting stressed so easily or getting too emotional. I think I was doing OK in this department throughout 2011. I really thought that I had matured and grew out of that whole teenage emo, angst phase.
I'm an adult. I need to pull myself together. But sometimes when you experience what seems to be a meltdown, things get out of hand.... beyond my control. And for a control freak like me who likes to take everything into my own hands, I feel terrible for not being able to control my emotions.
My heart aches... not literally, but I feel this tightness in the chest area which is characteristic of a pulled muscle. This happens whenever I get too stressed or upset. And last night I cried for a good couple of minutes. Stupid I know. I haven't cried in self pity for some time.
Right now I feel like throwing things or punching someone or screaming out loud. Maybe all 3 at once.
Apologies for being so frantic. I'm merely typing what I feel >.<
My mind is in a really ugly place right now. Not all the time, but I get these dips in my mood. There is so much frustration combined with anger and disappointment just needing release. And the thing that upsets me most is that the reason I'm upset, the trigger of all of this is so petty and meaningless on the grand scale of life and all..... hence I'm pissed at myself for being pissed at something that's not even worth pissing about.
I feel horrible for not being able to control and calm myself. For a very long time I have taken pride at finally being at peace with myself and enjoying life and not getting stressed so easily or getting too emotional. I think I was doing OK in this department throughout 2011. I really thought that I had matured and grew out of that whole teenage emo, angst phase.
I'm an adult. I need to pull myself together. But sometimes when you experience what seems to be a meltdown, things get out of hand.... beyond my control. And for a control freak like me who likes to take everything into my own hands, I feel terrible for not being able to control my emotions.
My heart aches... not literally, but I feel this tightness in the chest area which is characteristic of a pulled muscle. This happens whenever I get too stressed or upset. And last night I cried for a good couple of minutes. Stupid I know. I haven't cried in self pity for some time.
Right now I feel like throwing things or punching someone or screaming out loud. Maybe all 3 at once.
Apologies for being so frantic. I'm merely typing what I feel >.<
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