home videos *ahem*

I spent the weekend doing something kinky. This time on my own, no 'threes' involved hehehe. What happens when you feel bored and naughty, and equipped with a video camera on a lazy evening?

Well before I go on, I just want to clear some stuff up, regarding the issue of negative influences of some plu blogs that was raised recently. Yes, I write about sex and related behaviour, but never have I thought of it as being encouraging of others to behave promiscuously. I believe that the readers are empowered to make decisions based on their own clarity and judgment. I'm not Mother Teresa, everyone knows I ain't a saint, so I don't feel obligated to blog for educational purposes. However I certainly DO NOT promote any sort of negative or dangerous activity and behaviour.

You know I used to be really innocent and naive before I started this blog. But now if you think I'm a slut and/or a bitch, I kind of agree with you. Over the last couple of years I have really been understanding and accepting my sexuality, while getting these hot and sexy (sometimes desperate) feelings, and I believe I still have a long way to go in terms of learning and understanding myself.
My point is, reading all the other plu blogs didn't make me follow their actions blindly, as I always had a sense of what was acceptable and what wasn't. I feel exploring and trying things is just a part of growing up, and sometimes we make some bad choices, but that's all part of life right! (Just don't make stupid choices like having unprotected sex)

The 'J Junction' is a blog that covers mostly love, relationships and sex. Just because that's all I write about it doesn't mean that's ALL I'm about. The reason I don't write about other stuff such as my studies, hobbies, music, sports and daily stuff is because I wanted to protect my identity in a way and not get too personal. That was the reason at first, but these days I tend to be more open in the way I write, so I won't be surprised if some of you already know who I am.

Alright, back to today's topic!! ;)
SO what did I do?

*drum roll*


Strip tease videos!! It may sound silly, but don't worry I'm NOT gonna show it to anyone, except maybe my future bf when we are apart, just to tease him and make him miss me more! :P

I made it for myself. There's no better way to get in touch with your body and sexuality then filming yourself in action and then watching it. You learn a lot. Doing a strip tease also provides a good workout! My thigh muscles are sore from all the repetitive half squats I was doing. Other kinky things include lots of slow undressing, swaying and grinding to Britney's 'I'm A Slave For You', and also spanking!! I feel kind of embarrassed talking about it now. XD

After 7 takes, I think I finally got it right! After studying each take like I was doing it for an important assignment, I corrected the angles and moves to give the best possible show hehehe ;)
And I know this sounds vain, but boy do I have lovely legs!! Everything looks longer on film hahaha :P

So are you guys gonna practice it too? Be sure to lock the room door!! :)

Single, Alone, Just Me

I don't think I can be anymore single than I am now. Not exactly a good day. Don't even feel like I have friends that I can really talk to. Hate that I'm a loner that doesn't want to be lonely, if you can make any sense into that. I'm twisted and complex... my character is of a loner's, such as avoiding social activities... But then it's like I don't want to be alone yet my mind tends to push everyone away or I just don't want to make an effort.
Story of my life. You've probably heard me say this before in previous posts. Now I'm just writing random thoughts. You know why? Because I feel alone. Pathetic.

You know that feeling where you get all self conscious when you're sitting in a room full of people but no one is talking to you, so you try to distract your own disturbing and worrying thoughts by pretending to play around with your phone, but really you're wondering if someone is staring at you because you're a loner? YEAH that happened today.

And on another random note, I really love Kurt and Blaine's relationship on Glee. Haha Darren Criss (who plays Blaine) is just insanely hot. Love those eyes...... It's fucked up that he's actually straight in real life...
Anyway I feel really happy for Kurt even though it's all fictional. But it does give some hope to us singles. Then again it's like false hope because Blaine is like the 'perfect' guy that every gay guy wants to marry (OK some of you may beg to differ, namely bro). In reality I don't think there's such an awesome person. Geeezzzz now because of Glee, my expectations have somewhat been raised, which only means that the probability that I'm gonna die alone just increased ten fold. DAMN.

Now it feels like I'm yapping like a parrot that won't stop yapping but I will still go on... There's a really hot topic brewing at Tuls' blog, a post originally about a guy who had sex with another guy who was HIV+, but now the comments are just building up and the topic has kind of drifted a little. It may be inappropriate for me to say this, but heck I love it when there's a fierce debate going on about a hot issue, of course it's a friendly debate that doesn't involve ga-chang and violence. I think it's fair for everyone to voice their opinions and to stand by what they believe in. The whole point of having a debate is not to determine a victor, but it's just an opportunity for every voice to be heard, and for all people present to consider some things that they may have not previously thought of.

Wow I haven't typed such a long and draggy blog post... like ever! The sentences are long and probably don't make much sense because I'm literally just typing out what comes into my head without too much filtering. Another sign of a lonely guy that's just slowly but surely going bananas.

Back to the whole being alone shit. You know, it's not that I'm really desperate to get into a relationship, because I know how hard it is to maintain it and make it work. I'd probably be a horrible bf anyway. But you know, nobody wants to be lonely even though they don't feel the need to be in a relationship. I just want someone... that can be there when I need him to be there. And I can be there for him when he needs me.

OK I will stop typing.
Goodbye and goodnight...........

Indulgence

Had a new experience yesterday. Let me make a Britney reference... '3'.

I will not elaborate in greater detail at risk of sounding like a horrible slut. It was just a spur of the moment thing, an opportunity to explore my errr.... sexuality?
It was exciting alright, creativity was definitely required but it didn't feel quite right. Let's just say three can be a crowd, it ruins the dynamic somehow. Guess I'm more conventional than I thought. At times it was awkward.

This post was meant to be a documentation of my thoughts of that experience, as I like to write and share, and was never meant as a sleazy detailing of my sexual behaviour nor am I boasting or promoting my services.

Did I feel it was wrong to do it? Well NO, coz it was between 3 consenting unattached, single adults. Plus safety measures were of top priority.
Heck I'm 20 and single, at times I do things without really knowing why I did it. But I can tell you I won't be engaging in this sort of action again any time soon.

I'm still trying to meet someone and date after all. This was just a side experiment :P

growing acceptance?

Lately I feel as though attitudes toward Plus have changed a little.. for the better. Don't you think so? If not here in Asia, then definitely over in Europe and the States.

Perhaps the values of the general public hasn't change, but the portrayal in Pop culture is getting bolder and more evident. Plenty of examples I can draw upon...

Katy Perry's music video for Firework featured same sex kissing, so did P!nk's Raise Your Glass. Both songs embrace the uniqueness of individuals, having the balls to be yourself. Then there are artists that go all the way in expressing their support for gays, none more famous than mother monster herself Gaga and her jubilant Born This Way. Not too long ago Ke$ha released We R Who We R, another rocking anthem for our kind ;)

Surely the combined power of these great musicians can change the way people look at us, at least a tiny bit right? :)

Btw the music video for B.T.W. will premiere on Monday!

I'm back... again!

How many 'comebacks' has it been already?

I was never completely gone, just that there was nothing to blog about. That's right, my life is THAT boring. And the reason I've not been visiting your blogs or commenting on posts, the same reason why I was avoiding messages from dating sites and msn. I was in hiding. It's the easy way out, instead of having to deal with confrontation and mixed feelings.

I do want to meet that special someone, and I know staying to myself isn't going to get me anywhere. But somehow I just can't find the motivation to chat and get to know people. So how the hell am I going to meet that so called 'knight in shining armor'?

And being discreet doesn't help my case either. I think I act TOO straight. No guy has ever hit on me, possibly in fear that they would get humiliated for chatting up a str8 guy. Or perhaps it could be my lack of appeal, but I don't think I'm THAT bad LOL.

On rare occasions when a guy I met online did show intentions toward me, I instinctively push them away. Totally amazed at how desperately hopeful I am in seeking a guy BUT completely cold and heartless at the same time. You know I might actually be bipolar. That would explain a lot of things.......

I have a horrible feeling that I'm going to grow old and die alone. Hahahaha tragic isn't it?
Well at least I will have many years to get used to it.
Don't worry I'm not emo, I feel surprisingly calm actually.

On another note, despite acting discreet, I have never felt more gay in my entire life. :P


the comeback song!

Adam Levine Bares It All

OMG this pic of Adam is so freaking hot! Tattoos and chest hair turn me on. You all know I have the hots for him right ;)

The sexy Maroon 5 frontman posed naked for the latest issue of British Cosmopolitan on behalf of the Everyman charity, which raises awareness on prostate and testicular cancer. So get checked guys if you feel something isn't right down there.

And those hands on him belong to his Victoria Secret model girlfriend Anne Vyalitsyna. She's making ALL of us so jealous!!! I wonder if he got hard during the photo shoot? ;)

Twenty Ten

With just 9 days left before we welcome 2011, have you made the most out of your year?

2010 saw the birth of this blog, which is considered a big step for me into the plu circle. I now feel more in touch with all things plu thanks to the many interesting and educational posts from the huge number of bloggers out there! Had some fun, formed new friendships, gained a bro :) though he has been missing in action from the blogging world of late.

Had a handful of crushes this year, and as expected crushes only crush my heart. I'm sure everyone remembers the Eric catastrophe. Looking back at those months I can't believe I behave so inappropriately. I cannot explain it. At that time I was truly convinced that he was the love of my life, I was completely obsessed with him.... seriously unhealthy stuff!

And you know what's scary? The fact that I have absolutely NO feelings for him now, not even a tiny bit, goes to show that I really don't understand what LOVE is. Even after romancing with the other guy I talked about in October, I realize love CANNOT happen in a short time.
If you fall for someone in a short period of time, chances are that love will also only last a short period of time.

That's my latest theory. You can't just fall in love like in the movies. It takes an incredible amount of time to actually know someone enough to be in love. This theory completely conflicts with my previous belief that you can fall for someone without being regular friends first (as in directly from acquaintance to lover). This means you shouldn't be looking for lovers online, rather you should look at the friends you already have and build something from there!? Any sense to that?
So far I have yet to experience that. But I'm willing to patiently spend as long as it takes to fall in love with someone. :)

These are just thoughts I would like to note down before the year ends.
Have a blessed Christmas everyone!!! :D