Drowning

I hate this part right here. My heart aches, I can't concentrate on work.
I hate myself for not being able to control my emotions. Letting it get the best of me.
It's uncomfortable. Unsettled. Sad.

How can I feel so strongly about someone I barely know? It's supremely ridiculous!
I spent some time on Facebook trying to locate his profile. But without a full name I failed. Must have looked through hundreds of profiles. How stupid and crazy is that?

I want to stop thinking about him but it's not that easy. I wish he was in front of me right now so I could tell him how I feel and get it over with.

When I'm single I know I don't want to stay like that forever.
When I have a crush I feel like how I feel right now. Sick and desperate.
When I realize my crush is straight, I get heart broken.
Then the cycle repeats itself.

It's misery all the way. Is this how it's going to be for the rest of my life? T_T