New Guy

Back from Singapore! Had an awesome getaway and did everything I planned to do. Realizing how much I enjoyed holidaying by myself is worrying. On one hand it shows how I can live independently and not fall to pieces without a support system, but on the other it confirms that I'm by nature, a selfish person. I like to do things on my own, in my own pace and schedule, and tend to disregard others when they try to be inclusive or suggestive. You guys already know how I tend to push people away, and then later complain that I have no one around me.

Something I have to work on.

But erm, things happened a little differently this time round in Singapore. Yes, I did go to CC and mingled with the locals, but there was something a little more.... human. The first night I met this guy, who is hot-cute but not what I typically go for, but he turned out to be such a nice guy. There was a lot of conversation, and he even offered to have dinner later. Usually I say 'No thanks' to after sex activities because I perceive them to be awkward and redundant, but the part of me that wants to change just thought 'What the hell, just go, it won't kill you'.... besides, I was hungry and intended to eat anyway. Turns out he went with a friend, so I ended up eating and chatting with the both of them at a nearby coffee shop, talking about Singapore and what it's like to grow up there. Oh, and I also mentioned so much trash talk about Malaysia. LOL. The experience was surprisingly good.

On Sat night I went again (because I'm a sex craved whore), and this time it was a hunkier, hotter guy LOL and the sex was better hahaha... We did it in like so many positions, I gotta say the guys in Singapore know their stuff when it comes to doing it. The after sex cuddling was very enjoyable....... at that moment I realized it might not be such a bad thing to let someone in and be in a proper relationship, as terrifying as it is. Obviously I don't mean this particular guy, but more like in general.... it made me realized the potential possibilities if I actually opened up my heart (not my butt) a little more, and be more open and out. Anyway, I ended up having dinner with him too, and it was a nice way to close the evening.

Back to Malaysia.

Actually some things have been going on before the trip. Quite random, but I will spit it out because it needs to come out.

1. I have been chatting and mostly sexting with this guy I met on Jack'd. He's kind of hot and the initial conversation was intelligent and charming, but somewhere along the way it became really sex oriented to the point that we've been exchanging some really indecent pictures LOL. Oh, and he happens to be Indian. I had no problems with it because he's hot, but since coming back from Singapore I have been having doubts about what we have going on.... I mean at this stage it's still VERY casual, so I don't really need to put an end to it, just to see how things progress.... But part of me feels like I should because it's not quite going where I want it to be or what I want, and the race thing definitely pops up in my mind when it comes to compatibility..

2. I have been developing a huge crush on this other guy at the gym. I may have mentioned him before in a recent post. But remember my post on Joe vs. Urban Guy? The comparison I made on Joe (typical straight behaviour) and guys that appear more likely to be gay due to certain signs? Well, this new guy exhibits Gay-er tendencies... eg. his ear is pierced and I've seen him wearing an ear ring, he carries a very gay looking bagpack, he wears tight / skinny pants as his work attire, and the way he jogs on the treadmill is kind of gay LOL. I feel like I need an entire post to talk about him hahaha.... Actually I wasn't attracted to him at all to begin with, but he works out with this other guy that is slightly shorter, but hotter... So I had eyes on the shorter guy initially, but somewhere along the way my attention shifted to his taller, glasses wearing friend. OK, normally I don't like glasses wearing guys, but he takes them off when he works out and only puts it back on after he showers. And for a change, I'm kind of digging the geeky vibe he has going on. OK, and he has a nice chest and arms too.

Anyway, the reason I'm crushing on him is because we have had some weird, staring moments, much like the ones I had with Joe, which creeps me out because then I know I'm heading in the wrong direction, or going crazy again. But it's more obvious this time, because I know he and his friend, have a tendency to pause and stare at me when I'm near, and it's not the bad kind.. like I feel a positive vibe. And tall guy gets kind of cute awkward around me, and I do what I do best when I'm nervous: I pretend I don't see him at all. The other day when we were approaching each other on opposite ends of the hallway, I noticed he was so shy he stared on the ground as he walked pass, which was exactly what I did when I was walking by Joe last year hahaha!! Again, I know it's too early to say anything, maybe I should embrace my new open-ness and just say hi to him, or even a smile just to let him know I won't bite off his head if he decides to approach.

Will try my best to make a change haha!!

And to my nun sister, if you're reading this, welcome back to the blogosphere LOL :P

P.S. I love Sheena, she oozes that 'Glamarous, rich bitch' feel... If you don't know who she is, please slap yourself thank you very much

XOXO