Going All The Way

So I wasn't quite satisfied with how my first sauna trip went. Think I chickened out.

It's addictive... the mystery of not knowing how the day will end or who you'll meet there. Maybe it's because this experience is still so new to me, I have the craving to go back for more. And so I did. On the very next day (today haha).

This time I went to Studio 89 around 4.30pm, which I first heard about from Takashi/Pluboy obviously. The guy at the register looked Thai. Signed up, got a membership card, towel, lube, condom and locker key. I wanted to check out the scene, because the owner of the other place said his clientele was more of middle aged and chubs. And I think Studio 89 is more targeted at Gen-Y?

Well from what I saw, I was one of the youngest there. Most of them were perhaps 30 to 40+?? But the guys here are definitely fitter and hotter looking. I felt intimidated because I was so inexperienced and there was a crowd inside. Everyone was sitting around and staring. I had no clue about the layout, so this time I really walked around like a lost sheep. People giving me stares, not sure whether it's the interested look or the WTF look.

I went downstairs to check out the private rooms area. This place is quite big. I went back up and stood by the corridor leading into a spacious dark room. I was too afraid to go in because I didn't know what was inside, but I saw guys walking in and out. So I just stayed at the corridor and looked at porn on the TV.

I thought it was going to be uneventful, then out of the blue a knight comes right in front of me and touched and kissed me... this was still at the corridor. I was standing there like a log. Initially I was taken by surprised and felt hesitant, he asked about my role, we were a match. He was hot, there was physical chemistry so I decided to go with the flow. He also had nice breath (just chewed mint). We went downstairs and you know what happened next.

Once again, even though we all know what goes on in the private rooms, it seems that 2 guys cannot just walk in openly in front of everyone. Everything has to be discreet, like one guy goes downstairs first, the other guy follows behind. Then the first guy slowly sneaks into a room... moments later the second guy follows. I don't understand why it has to be like that since everyone there already knows what's going on. But the sneaking and pretending is actually quite fun. LOL.

One thing I like about Studio 89 is that the private rooms are well equipped with tissue and a dustbin, and it also has a light where you can adjust the brightness!! It's so hard to see in the dark. LOL. Also the shower area was nice and I liked the smell of the soap.

Oh I want to ask you guys something, since most of you are more experienced than me.

How exactly do you engage a guy in a place like this?

I mean how do I know if someone is interested? 

What are the signals to look out for? 

If someone gives me the horny look and walks by me, am I supposed to follow behind?

If this guy didn't walk up to me and said out loud that he wanted to fuck me, I wouldn't have got the message. And another thing.... do you guys feel guilty about it after committing the act?  
When you're full of lust you feel compelled to do all sorts of things, but after that I just feel like a dirty slut. The feeling doesn't last long though... after some time when the lust comes back you jump right back in.

I still feel kind of dirty now... but I have a feeling I will be going back to that place again *smacks head*

First Sauna Experience

I like to try new things, and today I crossed another thing off my list.

It was totally spontaneous, everyone in the family was out of town so I had the whole afternoon to myself. Went out for lunch, it was already past 2pm. So happened I was in that area which is quite near my house. I remembered reading on a site called Utopia that there was a gay sauna in that row of shops, which is on the 2nd floor, above a car workshop.

For some reason I felt like giving it a try. I didn't plan it at all, wasn't sure if I was dressed for it or if I had to bring my own towel. My heart was pounding as I approached the door. Saw the sign for the operation hours. I was in luck, it opens at 3pm on weekends! I mustered the courage to press the door bell. The door sprung opened. I walked up a flight of stairs, pass through a red curtain.

The owner was at the front desk, in his underwear. He was friendly, but looked at me like I was a lost sheep. He made sure I knew this was a gay sauna, because straight men have been known to come through those doors before. I nodded my head, said I knew where I was. He then explained subtly what goes on in a gay sauna just in case I had no idea. LOL. I must look damn innocent. I said I knew what to expect (though I wasn't entirely sure).

He gave me my towels and locker key, and was nice enough to give me a tour. I was the first customer of the day because it was so early. He told me the crowd usually comes in after 4.30, and more so on Sundays than Saturdays. I was like 'Oh damn'. Quite standard I guess: hot sauna, cold sauna, 2 dark rooms, one was like a maze, the other was like a fitting room with stalls and a chair in each stall. It was so dark I could barely see. There was a TV room, airing porn obviously. I sat there and waited for more people to show up.

Must have been around 4+ already. I was wrapped in nothing but a small towel. Finally more people started to come. I actually thought the guys there would be like flashing each other openly and doing it in front of everyone. Turns out that's not the case. Everything is done discreetly, even though everyone there knows what to do there.

I went into the steam room. Got groped a little, I groped back a little. A lot of dudes were just there to watch. It felt so weird. I wasn't entirely turned on, but not completely turned off either. Just strange.

After touching a stranger that I didn't even really see, I went into the dark room and sat on a chair. Someone showed up. Had another touchy session. I wasn't in the mood to blow or get fucked. Too timid I guess.


Quick shower after that and called it a day. Interesting right....
No longer a gay sauna virgin.

Salt in Wound

I already had a big hunch he wasn't batting for our team. But to hear him say it loud and clear hurts. :(

Even though it wasn't directed at me (it was more of a general statement), but still it stings like crazy...

The guy from 'A Little Sizzle' and 'Infatuation on Facebook'. Yeah I'm still not over him. Ain't life a bitch.

His latest Facebook status update:

'Excuse me I am not gay, I can't give you my number'

I read the subsequent comments.. turns out he just joined the gym (not the one I go to), and already some guy tried to hit on him. And he follows up on his friend's comment with 'my god, i tell u. its. so. scary'. 

What am I supposed to feel other than stupid??
What is it with me constantly falling for straight guys????


So I dedicate this song to him. Fuck him.

Japanese Junk in the Gym!

OK I'm officially a slut / whore who likes to ogle at hot naked men. There, I said it :P

Just came back from the gym, I'm already getting used to the routines and etiquette. I was expecting just another normal day, I went for an aerobic class, did a bit of strength exercise then headed to the showers.

As I came out wrapped in a towel I walked past one of the shower stalls. To my surprise, the curtain was completely open and there was a dude showering there. And he wasn't even facing the wall, he was standing sideways so you could basically see everything clearly if you stop to look. But I was walking quite fast, so I only caught a short glimpse in the corner of my eye.

Didn't think it was anything special. I went to my locker to get dress, then suddenly I see that guy standing at the locker opposite mine COMPLETELY NAKED. No towel. He was facing his locker, so his ass was faced against me :) I didn't dare to look full on, so I took short glimpses to the side every couple of seconds hahaha!

I only saw his face when he finished drying off and headed for the hair dryer. By now he's in his towel. From the face you can totally tell he's Japanese. Got that typical Jap look, with long hair and also plenty of facial hair. Sexy!

He wasn't done parading his junk. After that, he went back to his spot and took the towel off again. Grabbed his clothes slowly and put them on. I wasn't the only one who caught a glimpse of his ass because he was naked for so long.

This is only the second time I saw some ass in the gym. I think most locals are quite conservative, myself included. We put our underwear on while still wrapped in a towel. I remember a friend who studies at Japan who told me that people there are very open and they go to public showers and just bathe naked together. An even weirder thing is that she said family members also bathe together, imagine seeing your parents and siblings naked. Super weird right!

I hope I see that Japanese dude again. It makes going to the gym so much more interesting! ;)

Gym: Week 1!

Firstly, this is my 100th post, I wanna say a big THANK YOU to anyone and everyone that reads this! :)
It's comforting to be able to share the thoughts in my mind that are too twisted for me to say out loud to the people around me :P


So remember I was considering whether or not to join the gym some time back? Well I took that leap of faith and went with it. So here I am talking about my very first week in a commercial gym!! Hahaha I'm such a virgin ;)

DAY 1
I walked into the place with an excited puppy mentality, but of course I tried to look all chilled on the outside. Wasn't a lot of people there because of the time I went. The changing room and showers were clean and looked decent. I didn't see anything cruisy at all. No hot bodies also. Spent some time on the treadmill and basically walked around to get used to the surroundings.

DAY 2
I went for an aerobic class called Ritmo Zum, which is something like Zumba. And OH MY GOD the instructor is a serious piece of man meat + eye candy. I'm not kidding, I'm sure you guys will be drooling when you see him... radiant skin, obviously toned body, combined with a cute face and smile. The best part was the dance that we did involved a lot of sexy moves like swaying and shaking of the hips (think Shakira) so I was basically staring at his ASS the whole time and smiling like an idiot!!
On another note, I thought the choreography was a little fast to catch for a newbie. The instructor's name is Eu Jinn, I highly recommend that you guys go for his class and ogle away!!!
Also I noticed some hot looking bodies in the changing room. Plus when I got home, I totally did a full cyber search on Eu Jinn and found his fb profile and went through his profile pictures YUM YUM because we had mutual friends haha! OMG I'm such a bitch.

DAY 3
Yeah, on the 3rd consecutive day I went at night for the Les Mills RPM class, which is a group cycling exercise, with simulations of going through different kinds of terrain (highway, hills) by adjusting the resistance on the bike so you can feel the added push. By far the toughest class yet. The studio was stuffy and I got nauseous after some time... maybe I pushed myself too hard or didn't catch my breath properly. Thankfully I didn't puke, and was able to last till the end. Could definitely feel the burn in the thighs! The instructor was quite inspiring and was singing along to the music.

DAY 4
Haha yes I went again on the following day, because I had a pre arranged complimentary personal training session when I signed up for the membership. The trainer was a friendly Malay guy, and I asked him tons of questions and gained some valuable information about working out.
We used some of the equipment that involved training the thighs, lower back and biceps. Because I'm underweight and lack physical strength in general, some of the exercises we did was actually quite challenging.
Obviously after that we had the 'talk' which was expected, telling me to sign up for their package and stuff. I already knew it was super expensive, so I just told him I would think about it. There is one more free session next week, will see how that goes.


After reaching home that day, I actually had a low self esteem moment... because I realized how fit most of the members in the gym already are, with the awesome bodies and stuff, and then you look in the mirror and ughhhh it's like geeezzz I really should eat more and build some muscles.

But then I realize the fact that I joined the gym is already taking a step forward. I joined because I wanted to improve my fitness, stamina and also to gain some weight and increase my muscle mass. So the only person that I need to compete with is myself, and I set the goals for myself. That I can do, because discipline has always been one of my strong points. No one pushes me harder than myself.

I don't need to compare my body with other people, because I don't know what they went through. Those guys with awesome bodies probably put themselves through hell with dedication and hours upon hours of hard work. In other words, they deserve what they have and I totally respect that. And if I want to be like that I need to pay my dues too.

Hahaha I just gave myself a pep talk!!

Well this is just the first week and I still have a long long way to go. I might be going again tomorrow to try the Step class. And I still wanna have a go at Body Combat and see what it's all about.

At least I'm enjoying the process so far! :)
Do you guys remember your first week at the gym? Was it like my experience?

Once Again

I knew this would happen but I let it anyway.

I guess I need to get burned to recognize fire. Even though I know exactly what fire is. Sigh, this statement doesn't even make sense.

The guy that I have been falling for (A Little Sizzle and Infatuatuion on Facebook) isn't into me. In fact I'm almost certain he's straight. No, I didn't confront him or confess my feelings like how I did previously with my other crushes.... But let's just say something happened last week which proved that he doesn't care about me. There was a perfect opportunity for him to do something but nothing ever happened :(

This is why you shouldn't be hopeful or have expectations when it comes to love/feelings.

The vicious cycle that I talk so much about in this blog has just repeated itself. Yet another 1 sided crush.

I'm trying hard to not think about him, and constantly telling myself to no longer look at his fb profile. That's the only way to move on. Out of sight, out of mind.

You know, I'm quite sure I'm going to be single for a very long time... possibly forever.
Mr. Right / Prince Charming / The One doesn't exist.

I can't help but feel like there's no one there for me, there's no one fated for me to meet. It's not about getting into a relationship or having a bf, I'm talking about meeting someone you actually love who loves you back. I just don't see it happening for me, maybe I'm meant to stay single in this lifetime.

Good luck to the rest of you single guys out there!!! And I'm not being sarcastic or bitter, I really mean it! Hope you find the happiness that has eluded me :)

Androgyny

Androgynous
–adjective

1. being both male and female; hermaphroditic.

2. having both masculine and feminine characteristics.

3. having an ambigous sexual identity.


The music video above by Garbage makes androgyny look cool, though it is not always the case in reality.
People who are androgynous aren't necessarily gay (I think). Just men who dress like women; women who dress like men. For some it's a fashion statement. Well it's definitely bold.

I think society is more accepting of angrogynous women, like female celebs who put their spin on a man's suit. Whereas guys who put on eye liner like Lambert are more frowned upon. But you wouldn't want to see a man wearing a dress right?

It's interesting... that's for sure.

"Boys in the girl's room,
Girls in the men's room,
You free your mind in your androgyny."