Bitch is Back

I'm merely referring to myself haha. I actually enjoy calling myself that. Bitch.

I'm over being sad. No.. Wait, that's a lie. I AM sick of being sad, but there's still some sadness in my system. But since it's too tiring to be that way, so I'm just going to be bitchy and fun.

One of my lecturers back in college once said that we always gotta give our best in everything we do, even if we don't feel confident or a 100%, we just gotta fake it until we make it there eventually. Never show your weaknesses.
Similarly I will just pretend I'm over New Guy until I really am over him. I'm playing reserve psychology with my own mind. How amusing.

There's something else I wanna share.
Today while I was at the computer room in Uni, I overheard (not really overheard, since they were talking SO LOUD) 3 students using the computer beside me who were discussing the issue of homosexuality. One of them even had a fake English accent which made me want to stab myself in the ear. I think they are Arts students that had an assignment about censorship, and they were using the example of Lady Gaga's Born This Way having the line "No matter gay, straight or bi, lesbian transgendered life" being censored from Malaysian radios.

So they were discussing how homosexuality was still not accepted in Malaysia and the fact that even though there is increasing global acceptance for it, it doesn't mean that it's RIGHT. Yeah, one of them said just coz ppl are fine with gays now, it doesn't mean that being gay is right. 2 of them were clearly homophobic. Then one of the girls said 'They say that being gay is not a choice' in a tone which showed she clearly didn't believe in the statement, as though gays want to be gay because they woke up one day and had nothing better to think about.

It suddenly hit me that straight people just don't get it, no matter how much we explain it to them, because they were never in our shoes. You can say a million times that
'I just knew I was gay and honestly if I really had a choice I would choose to be straight because life would be so much easier without the judgment'
but they still won't be able to truly understand. They don't know the feelings that we have for our own gender. It comes naturally. Just like how a straight guy sees a girl and he gets those feelings. But honestly I don't blame them from being that way, because they never went through what we did so it's very hard to relate.

I used to think acceptance from straights was important. But not anymore, since they don't really get it anyway. Screw them. As long as I accept who I am, and understand why I am like this, I'm HAPPY.

Yeah, the bitch has spoken! :P