There's nothing inside. A void.
I'm now at the phase in the cycle where it's just empty and silent. Feels like there's a hole in my heart. I'm not happy. Not sad. Not angry. Not frustrated. Not contented. Not hopeful. Not strong. Not weak. Just empty.
Still can't stop visiting his blog. It's just a click away. He's updating much more frequently now, as though he knows someone is watching because the updates used to be quite scarce. He's soulful. Has a great heart. Appreciates family. Such a nice guy.
Why am I so desperate for love? Is it really a necessity? Can we live without the romantic type of love? Sure there's family love and love from friends. But it can't substitute 'love love' right?
Why can't humans be naturally inclined to be alone and independent, and not feel the need to be clingy to another person? Why do we need to feel love?
I can't feel anything right now. Like a robot.
Beep beep beep beep beep.
Beep beep. Beep.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeepppp.
Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep.
Now I'm just spamming my own blog.
Maybe it's time to take a break from blogging again. Since I don't feel anything, there's nothing to write about anymore.
I wish my heart will have such void as yours. If he is still there, there is no chance for me to put in others or even myself.
ReplyDeletetake your time, take all the time needed. Time will come when your void are filled by someone else.
I understand that feeling.. Nothing much i can say, but i think you could just let yourself fall a little deeper, and tell yourself that when you stand back up, you're gonna be a whole lot stronger. Cheers, bro.
ReplyDeleteI thought you are supposed to put a stop to it.
ReplyDeleteaiyor...i'm feeling empty too...sigh...
ReplyDelete@Whizkid: Yeah, time is the key. Time.
ReplyDelete@Bro: thanks :)
@CX: see that's the problem with me. my mind tends to go to places without control :/
@Ash: u too? hope u find something to feel the void soon..
I guess I know how you feel.. Just hang in there. Maybe your knight in shining armor is on his way?
ReplyDeleteEven I keep asking myself the same question. "Why do we need to feel love?"
It's going to be okay. Just don't stop believing =]
Oohh Ash, i meant 'fill' not 'feel'.
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks A. If he is on his way, then he'd better hurry, coz I'm sick of waiting.
U aren't robot, if you are, you won't feel emptiness. Just need to control your mind not to hope for hopeless desire.
ReplyDeletehope you too find something to fill the void
ReplyDelete