Been exactly another week since I ran into Joe again. It seems I only see him on Mondays now.
The gym was so crowded. He was working out and chatting with some friends. When I arrived, I knew he kinda saw me. Apart from that, the rest of the night was cold. He didn't bother to look at me at all, even as I walked by. No chance for me to smile, say hi or just have eye contact. I was left feeling high and dry.
Being left to lick my wounds, I left after showering and I saw he was doing some post workout stretching. I went upstairs to Subway to 'tapao' dinner/supper. On my way down, I saw him walking out of the gym. He didn't see me. I was heading down to the carpark. I intentionally slowed down so that he would catch up with me. I was lucky he was going to the same place as me.
He was literally standing behind me on the escalator/walkalator. I didn't turn back, but I knew he was standing behind me. And it so happened we both parked on level B2. So he tailed me all the way to the autopay machine. When I was paying, he was waiting behind me. Then when I left, I saw him paying at the same machine I did.
In retrospect, I should have turned to say hi. Don't know why I didn't think of doing it at all. That was the perfect opportunity. Isolated, just us, no on lookers. I could have just gave him my name card or something. Even if I made a fool of myself and he wasn't interested, at least it was isolated.
Another way of looking at it, the fact he didn't make any move even though I was just in front of him at a quiet place..... that just shows he's not interested. Or, he's super closeted to the point he just doesn't have the guts to hit on another guy. OK the first reason makes more sense.
So you guys were right to think I am crazy and totally imagining things. For a moment, it all felt so real. Honestly. The way he looked at me. I didn't initiate it. He looked at me a certain way, and it gave me the impression. Fuck.
And this painfully reminds me of the whole Eric saga. I mean, if you read back all my old posts related to crushes, I'm sure you will find that I wrote similar things, like thinking it was all so real.
I just feel like such an idiot hahaha..... and I guess I have had a bit of closure now? It's just such a pity, because he's so fucking gorgeous and his cool and calm personality just makes him so much hotter............ OK, fine.... you guys can roll your eyes now..
I'm hurt, and left feeling horribly empty inside now... All the feelings and time and emotions that I invested into Joe, only to be slapped in the face. But I will recover. Just not tonight. Maybe in a few days. Or weeks.
XOXO
Don't know what happened yet till i read the rest of ur post. For now.. a big hug to you. HUGS!!
ReplyDeletehaha thanks... you're about to read about my CRAZINESS and EMOness for well over a month :O
DeleteI'm not proud of it, but it happened.... :/
It will past.
ReplyDelete:)
On a side note, how will you react if 2 months down the road you see him in a gay club with another guy. Holding hands.
Hmmmmm if I see him in a gay club holding hands with another guy, at least I would get confirmation that he's one of us...
DeleteAnd knowing he's not available, at least I would just maybe say hi or just introduce myself..
But I'm kind of starting to get the feeling that he's straight... not very sure....
*hugs*
ReplyDeletemaybe you neeed to mentally prepared as per Chen Xing's situation
Yeah I should... a guy as attractive and fit as him shouldn't be single... in fact, if he's still single, that must mean there's something wrong with him :O
DeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteI am going to be honest . You are way over your head with this issue .Please stop doing this nonsense by stalking him . If I was him , i will feel annoyed with you , because you are too obviously stalking him . Why do you want this person so much when its only looks that you see from him . Have you known his attitude ? Do you know his character ? Is he a nice person inside ? These things matter . What you are doing is being superficial . Stop it and wake up . I have been reading your posts and one thing that I have seen you become is too superficial . I am not saying you are a bad person , but please dont let yourself be swayed by this nonsense any longer .It will cause you more harm . Cant you just meet a person that is nicer on the inside and then fall in love with him ? If you keep on being influenced by looks , you will really be sad . I really dont know you , but I think you need to see a more clearer picture on what you are doing . Sorry if im being truthful , but you need some honesty to kick your ass up .
ReplyDelete*Like*. Hehe
Deletehaha well said... the stuff you're saying, I know it already... But this thing with Joe, is more than just looks and exterior stuff.... sure, initially the attraction was first formed based on his clearly amazing physique and gorgeous good looks hahaha, but I didn't fall for him simply because of that. They are a handful of hot, fit hunks at the gym, but you don't see me swooning over all of them...
DeleteThis thing that's going on with Joe, is a little deeper than that... And like you said, yes I've been stalking him, seeing how he conducts himself at the gym and how he behaves... I can already tell he's a down to earth kind of guy, which is what draws me to like him even more... because you normally don't see that kind of quality in a hot guy.. Most hot guys at the gym tend to just stare you down with that bitch face... but Joe appears to be a very genuine and sweet guy....
Having said all of that, I do know where you're coming from.. I know I know... thanks for the wake up call haha... I'm actually already feeling much better these few days....
Plus I think I know who you are, there's only 1 person annoying enough to write that kind of stuff... I still think the multiple personalities is creepy, but oh well... I guess I'm a creep too for stalking Joe LOL....
@LeoNut: Biatchhhhh :P :P :P
well , yes i think you know who I am too , . I realised that I am embarrased that I screwed up assuming that I am smart enough to trick people . It is not multiple personalities , its just ONE personality multipled in many different persona's .As I had said it before , It was just for fun .
ReplyDeleteAnd hey , I did manage to find out people's true colors by disguising anyway . So , cheers