Liberation

OK bitches, J-boy is back. Move over.

OK... sorry for the dramatic opening statement lol....

I had an awesome day... started out with gym (didn't see him, don't really care either), then watched a movie on dvd while enjoying a Sub, then I drove over to mandi manda and you know what happens, then I had McD for supper haha.

For the past couple of months, I have been a saint. Saving myself, sexually and spiritually for Joe. It was like I was a virgin again LOL. You might think that's stupid, but I thought it was noble of me to keep myself pure for him, I wanted to be exclusive for him. I put myself on a platter JUST for him.

But fuck that thought now. Joe, it's your lost. All of this hotness and the banging bod of mine is something you will never know and touch. Forgive me for the following hyper vain statement, but I looked in the mirror just now and I realized I'm more attractive than I give myself credit for, and my body is probably in the best shape it has ever been. So I shouldn't feel like I'm not good enough.

And if you thought I was losing my mojo, the attention I got at the sauna tonight would prove you wrong. Sure, I agree most guys there are just perverts wanting a good time, but the fact that I can get their attention despite the large crowd shows I have appeal. And it was a good crowd tonight. I was there at 8, I have never seen so many guys there (today is naked night), most are in shape and young, with very few uncles or large tummies. So it felt good to know I still got game despite the above average crowd.

Maybe the reason I have been so crazy and emotionally unstable for the past 2 months was because I wasn't having sex hahahaha. I mean, I have been so fucking deprived lately, that today's session felt so damn good, and the moment this guy touched me and used his tongue on me..... I felt incredibly sensitized, it was almost too overwhelming and I had to push his head away for a while, like it was my first time having sex again haha.... My body seemed to have forgotten the sensation, and how good it feels to be licked, sucked and rimmed. Or maybe this guy really had a great tongue. I don't know. I don't care. All I know is........... today was incredibly satisfying and much needed.

I did feel a bit dirty afterwards though. I had a thorough bath and scrubbing.... maybe it's been too long since I've been a whore. And the thought of an STD definitely went through my mind. But I did take the precautions, the golden rule still applies. But yeah, casual sex has its risks.

Don't think I will be having sex and visiting saunas again every other week, because for now I feel satisfied and tamed. Let's see how long it will last ;)

XOXO