Dildo

Haha the title says it all.

In an attempt to NOT go out slutting around and have random birds creep up my dark nest, I bought myself a dildo.

Went to the adult shop, took some guts to walk in under broad daylight. I was relieved that the sales person was a young and hot guy, but he spoke in broken English, and probably straight anyway, hence I wasn't that turned on LOL.

I was the only customer there, I looked around and didn't see dildos, so I just asked him 'Do you have dildos?' hahaha he must have knew instantly that I was gay, but he wasn't shy or awkward at all. His laid back and non-judgmental attitude made me relax instantly. He just took out a clear folder with catalogue in it and showed me the models. Basically there were only 2 choices: one was Japanese, the other American. He recommended that I get the Japanese one because he said (and I quote) 'It's more suitable for Asian size' hahahaha, he joked around a bit. I requested to see it and he showed me (the dildo, not his own dick).

Boy was it a beauty (again, the dildo). Made from silicone and dyed into a transparent pink, it was very realistic looking with the head perfectly shape and veins all over. I thought it was huge, thick and almost 7 inches long (including the base). He was joking that this is considered small already, and went on to show me the American one which was just ridiculously and unrealistically LARGE. Obviously I didn't want to bust my asshole so I chose the Jap one. And gosh it was not cheap. RM299. But the way I see it, if it can keep me entertained and away from casual sex which has a risk of disease, then in the long run it's a good investment. A dildo, if cared for properly can last up to several years (I think).

So, obviously I have already gave my purchase a test run. And let's just say, it's way better than any home object (glue stick, cucumber). The shape and thickness really resembles an actual dick, and the silicone is soft and flexible but still hard, which makes it easy to use. For hygiene reasons I put a condom on it and used lots of lube. Long story short, I reached climax without even touching my rod. Yes, it was that good, it really feels like actual anal sex, but of course minus the passion and warmth of the guy and his weight leaning against you. And after withdrawing the dildo, you get that after sex soreness and loose feeling which lasts for a while :P

So yeah, you don't need a random guy when you have a dildo!! But that doesn't mean I'm not looking for relationships, am still on the hunt for qualified candidates ;)

XOXO

The Many Faces of Someone

It has come to my attention that someone I know hasn't been entirely honest, and in fact to a lot of people.

I think it's pretty common for us to have several sides to our character. I mean, when you're with this group of friends you behave a certain way and hide certain things about yourself, and when you're with another gang you show another side, if you know what I mean...

Even being an anonymous blogger, not many of you know who I really am, or how I look like.. My character as J-boy may or may not be very different from who I am in real life, even though I've stressed many times that everything I blog about has been true. And yeah, generally being gay, many of us seem to have adopted a double identity in a way, whether we do it consciously or not.

But then there are some extreme cases. Some people are just plain nut jobs. Creating completely different identities and selling them to other people. Very much like an actor that's convinced he's actually the character that he's portraying. Double or perhaps even triple identity. Super creepy.

You may think you are being careful, but eventually the truth comes out. I KNOW. And other people are going to find out as well. Not sure what your intentions are, but it makes me sick to realize just how manipulative and twisted your mind is. I don't understand why you have to lie to such an extent. It's disturbing.

I KNOW.

You better watch your ass because you've just woken the cobra.

The cobra is me by the way hahaha :P

It Sucks

Everybody says that you're gonna miss the student life once you begin your career, and I couldn't agree more.

Just 2 days in and I already feel like shit.

My colleagues have been friendly and very sociable. As you know I'm not that talkative, so I still need some time to get used to the dynamic with them. Lunch time can be a little awkward because I don't have much to say to them, partly because there's a slight age gap.

The office is actually beautiful. I have a lovely new desk, comfy chair, strong air conditioning, no trouble with getting free parking, the toilet is clean and well equipped, so I have no qualms about doing my big business there haha... Coz you know sometimes you avoid taking a dump in toilets outside of your home because it's not as comfortable/familiar LOL... Is that TMI?

Now let's talk about the shitty stuff.

I was given a series of tasks or I should say tests/challenges, and it turns out I SUCKED at them. Will not reveal so much about the nature of what I'm doing, but yeah..... I haven't been delivering and my supervisor seems a little disappointed, even though I'm still new, and obviously need some time to adapt and learn and improve.

That's not too bad actually. I know I will get better. Right now the thing that is killing me the most is the change in lifestyle...... The long hours at work, waking up early, getting stuck in after work peak hour traffic.... by the time I reach home I just feel like eating, showering then going straight to bed. There's not much time, or energy, for fun and games anymore.

It feels like I've been robbed of my sleep and vitality, and robbed of having a youthful and happy, free, easy going lifestyle. I expect pressures at work to increase over time, which is gonna suck even more.

Right now I've never been happier about WEEKENDS. Being able to sleep in, and run errands that I no longer have time to do during weekdays. Oh and going to the gym.... normally I'm so tired after work I don't have mood to gym anymore.

Hopefully my body and mind adjusts to this new lifestyle A.S.A.P.
Otherwise I'm going to get burned out eventually :(

Will try to stay strong!
XOXO

Tomorrow is the First Day

Woohoo I'm a big boy now haha!

A big step awaits tomorrow... the 1st of November.

I'm excited, nervous, unsure of what to expect, terrified but also just glad that life is moving on and things are happening for me :)

For some reason, I feel like a cobra.... I mean I feel like saying the word Cobra. Random much.

Cobra.

Cobra.

Cobra.

Imagine a cobra that's excited, nervous, unsure of what to expect, terrified but also glad life is moving on and things are happening for it.... Just picture the look on the cobra's face....

Hahaha.

Yup. That's me. Ready to strike.... I will try to be nice and not bite, and I can be nice when handled correctly.

Just hope I don't do anything stupid on my first day. Or be socially retarded haha.
I will try my best to be humble, pleasant and friendly.

Wish me luck, I will NEED it :P
XOXO 

Alone on a Saturday Night

Sigh, how pathetic...

I know I always say that I'm cool with being on my own and enjoying the peace and quiet with no one else to bother me, but gee today happens to be that rare day when I felt like having some social interaction and couldn't get it...

It so happens that my parents are away for an over night trip, and my mind was immediately thinking about all the naughty things I could do hahaha! The first thing that came to my mind was going to MP, because I've never been.... but after scrolling through my phone and computer I realized I have no gay friends to go with! Like there was no appropriate person to ask. Then I started thinking about random things, like bringing a guy home, since he can spend the night with me and we can cuddle and all in my bed........ Don't worry, there's no guy in my bedroom now LOL! Decided that the risk was too high just in case my parents came home early.

I somehow managed to resist the strong urge to go to the sauna or get a massage, because like I've said I'm looking for something more meaningful now, and sometimes when you're feeling a little down/lonely, going to the sauna and having casual sex only makes you feel crappier about yourself.

So I resorted to the only other thing that could make me happy: Shopping & Food! Went to Pavilion by myself, and gosh walking through the large crowds by yourself also kind of makes you feel crappy... In the end, I didn't find anything worth buying, so I bought some food home, and had dinner in front of the TV in an empty house.

Which makes me think, being gay may call for a lonely future, like years from now when my parents are gone, and my siblings are all married with their own family, I would be returning from work to an empty house, eating dinner by myself, and then going to bed and going to work the next morning, repeating the cycle of loneliness..... Hahaha OMG I should start thinking about getting a cat LOL!!!

XOXO

 

TMILF ~ Part 1

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The Man I'm Looking For

I was chatting with another blogger about dating and asking him to set me up with his friends that are suitable, because to be honest there really isn't much other ways to meet PLU. Like you guys said the gym is meant for eye candy-ing only, and I'm just so bored of the guys on Jack'd, like no one catches my eye, and most are in for fun only. I don't go out to the scene so I won't meet new people, by the way what or where is the scene? At clubs like MP? Nahhh....

Btw, yes I feel like I'm ready to date, or at least trying to get something more than just casual sex. I'm at a good place emotionally, mentally and physically now. 

So back to the topic of getting set up with a friend's friend, he then asked me what I'm looking for....... which is like such a good question. In that instant, I just couldn't answer it, it's like the answer can be so vague yet so specific....... and after more thought, I started thinking about the man I envision to be with....

In the end, there were so many things I could come up with, I joked that it can be written into a book titled 'The Man I'm Looking For', though it's more like a fantasy / ideal man type of thing, but yeah...... some criteria that definitely needs to be fulfilled in my opinion.

Feel like mentioning it all out here, just for the record, but right now I feel too tired to construct proper chains of thoughts and sentences...............


To be continued.... tomorrow or the day after that haha :P

Till then,
XOXO