Getting Stood Up Midway During Sex

OK I'm not even sure what that means. Utterly confused and frankly my ego is bruised hahaha.

Something ridiculous happened moments ago.... STORY TIME:

I went to the sauna at about 7. Wasn't expecting much, just same old routine. After browsing for a while, I see only one (hot+cute) guy that interests me, totally my type. Lucky for me, hot guy seemed to be interested too (honestly, this doesn't always happen!).

He was either playing hard to get, or just being overly passive or shy to make the first move. That sucks because I usually roll like that, I insist that the Top be the aggressor, or initiator, and 90% of the time, they do. If you want me come get me, simple as that. It's not that hard, just come close and touch my hand or something. A note to all Tops out there: it is a super turn off if you make your potential fuck-hole make the first move.

There was a loooooooong game of cat and mouse. The longest I have ever played. At first I wasn't sure if he was interested, because he always seem to be near where I was going, but he wasn't coming close enough to me. There was some eye contact, and on a couple of occasions he brushed his hand against me when walking by. I wasn't entirely sure whether it was an accident, or some sort of signal. Jeezzz it was too subtle. To test my theory, I walked long distances to different parts of the maze, and true enough, he was always following. At one point, near the private rooms we were just standing opposite each other. I was waiting and waiting, like seriously, thinking 'Where the heck are your balls? Approach me already you ass'... Then he walked to a dark, isolated corner, I guess expecting me to go there, but there was someone else watching so I didn't move..... After a while, he walked out of the maze!! I was like, WTF!?!?!

Feeling like I've wasted so much time, I just stood where I was dumbfounded LOL. Moments later, he came back.... standing at the same spot where he was before. This time, I made a move to a corner, right outside a private room.. he followed and stood very near me. Our hands touched. Finally things made sense. It was like MIND games.... neither of us wanted to give in and make the first move, maybe because that's a sign of submission or weakness. But at that point I was so frustrated, I just wanted his dick in my mouth and butt, I didn't care if I had to admit I wanted him.

It was good to know he was a man, and some things are worth the wait. He led me into the room and we started working. As if his hot, young, very straight, macho look and nice arms (I like grabbing big biceps LOL) wasn't enough, he swung out a BIG tool, it was so long and thick, I'm not even bragging... just felt so lucky tonight. It sounds too good to be true, I know. Haven't had such a hot guy since....... forever.

I forgot to mention that he seemed to be ill. During our cat and mouse games, I saw occasional coughing and sniffling... But he was so hot, I still wanted to have sex with him haha.. And he was wearing a chain around his neck, so rad!! Naturally, he wasn't in the mood for anal, so I served him some good ol' suckin.. He even asked if I wanted to find someone else because he couldn't fuck me today. We didn't kiss mouth to mouth (in retrospect I'm glad because he was sick), but there was a lot of neck action haha.. Everything seemed to go well, we even cuddled and I had to stop him from making me cum because I didn't want it to end so soon...

Then I proceeded to blow him again, he was enjoying it, then all of a sudden, while his dick was still rock hard, he just stood up quickly, and said 'I'm sorry, I need to go to the toilet', I was like............. what?? like right now?? I knew he wasn't feeling well, so I thought maybe he needed to puke or something... He wrapped up his towel, and I think he said 'See you' or was it 'Bye', I was so confused, does it mean that he will come back in a while? I asked 'So do you wanna meet later?', he muttered something as he opened the door but I didn't catch it. So I followed behind him as we left the maze.

I kept a distance between us, eventually I went to the loo as well to pee. After that, I tried looking for him back in the maze, waited around, then searched around all 3 floors, but he was no where to be seen. Gone like the wind. I felt pissed and also sad because I let such a good and rare catch that I had to work so hard for, get away just like that (hahaha Tuls, sounds like Pokemon analogy hor). If only I followed him closer, or asked for his number. Would he have given it to me?

But then again, why did he leave? Was it because he was unwell? Or was it something I did? Am I really that bad in sex that a guy would run away midway? I honestly don't think so, because this is the first time a guy has walked out like that. His dick was still hard. I really don't understand. Was he in a hurry? Or did he tried to look for me afterwards but we just couldn't find each other?

I hate that I get so emotionally attached to a hot guy I barely know. If the guy was less attractive or someone I wasn't so into, I probably wouldn't even write a blog post about it. Proof that I'm really superficial. I know the first rule in sauna venturing is No Strings Attached. What happens at the sauna should stay in the sauna. I know I know. But DAMNNNNN was he my kind of guy!! Perfect look, perfect body, perfect cock. Too good to be true maybe. On the bright side, at least I can say it happened, and I still have some sort of appeal to be able to attract guys like that. It gives me hope. LOL, can you sense the pathetic self consolation? XD

XOXO
Left high and dry, J-boy

First MP "Clubbing" Experience

So..... Marketplace happened last night haha. Something I can check off my to-do list. So much I wanna talk about, I need to write this down so that I'll remember it in years to come.

Before anything else, I wanna make a shoutout to grand master Tuls for agreeing to be my chaperone for the evening. Just wanna say muacks and thanks very very much hahaha for being so nice OMG, seriously he is like the nicest, most sincere person, totally beyond expectation because he didn't had any obligation to extend this generosity to me. From driving me around, to buying me drinks, he was like the big brother (fuck, he's so tall) bringing his fat, ugly sister to the cool kids party (not that I'm implying I'm anywhere near fat or ugly), so I had the sense that I was totally dragging his mojo down that night. Long story short, I'm glad to have lost my CLUB virginity to him lol.

Lets get back to the party. 

I know I'm about to sound damn kampung, but I was so impressed with the invisible hand stamp thing, like I was worried my mum would see the stamp if it didn't wash off, but hahaha turns out it can only be seen under a blue/UV light. I didn't even remember where it was. Damn awesome lah hahaha!

The entire place is so much smaller than my expectation. Like the dance floor is so tiny, pathetic really. I like the rooftop though, with the Twin Towers gleaming at the backdrop. Crowds start coming from midnight. You see all kinds of people coming in, Caucasians, lalas, hunks, queens, older men but some still quite fit, fag hags that aren't really that pretty, and everything in between. I saw some familiar faces, such as a Body Combat instructor I had a crush on, and I also saw 3 guys that go to my gym, so I was like 'Ahhhhhhhhhh, I knew you were gay!!' haha. Oh, thanks to Tuls, I also got to meet another blogger who is pretty cool ;)

Drinks are overpriced, not that I drink anyway so it was ok. The music got louder and louder, you literally have to shout in people's faces to talk. People smoke. The dancing was rather subdued, maybe everyone was kind of shy or not high enough. Some hunks did take their shirts off haha.

I like to compare the experience to saunas. Really not that different. There's music, it's quite dark, people go there to stand around and cruise, except they are wearing clothes and you can order drinks. The difference is, I find saunas more rewarding, coz there's action in the end. Clubs are so much more pretentious, guys go there and stare around (rather bitchily to be honest) thinking they're so swag and all, dressed to show as well. As a sauna regular you would think I would fit right in at MP, but I felt kind of out of place. Maybe I'm just not well versed with this culture, I don't really see the point in putting up such a show, or maybe I just don't like to socialize as much. Just sex is good enough for me hahahaha!! And I realized I'm not a night person haha, coz I woke up today feeling so tired and shitty even though I didn't take a sip of alcohol.

Writing this, I mean no offense to any regular Club goers out there, I admire your..... enthusiasm and socializing abilities. I would say, it's a nice place to hangout with a bunch of friends, drinking and chatting, maybe some dancing. People tend to stay with their own groups or niches, it's something like strength by numbers, you gain confidence / comfort through each others' presence. I would advise against going alone. It's way too pretentious (again, honestly no offense) that I just wanna roll my eyes and I feel like it's not even that cool, like you're totally not missing out on much if you have never been. I definitely do not foresee meeting my bachelor here. Clubbing is not everyone's cup of tea, but I wouldn't say no to going again, just to hang out and observe this culture.   

Gotta Have It: Varsity Jacket

It's something that I've been hunting for lately, and still haven't found a decent but relatively cheap one yet haha!

Not sure if it's still in trend (I always seem to be a little behind with trends lol), but one day I just randomly thought of getting one before my big holiday coming up in October! The Autumn-ish weather is gonna be about 14 - 17 degress, so a jacket over maybe a thicker inner shirt should be sufficient to keep me warm :)

And rather than the usual jacket/sweater/hoodie thing (I have 2 black ones from Uniqlo which I love coz its super comfy and I like to sniff the sleeves when it has that nice fabric-y smell mixed with your own scent haha), I feel I might need to raise the style stakes for where I'm going :P

OK maybe you think a varsity jacket isn't a stylish statement, but it's certainly more interesting than the plain ones. 3 words come to mind when I think of / see a Varsity jacket:

1. SWAG (pronounced with hand gesture and over-the-top emphasis on the G: Swagggggggg)

2. Young
3. Fraternity

Also it makes me want to break instantly into a rap or pull out some crazy hip hop dance move. So stereotypical American right!! OK I'm such a pretender hahaha, we all know I'm neither stylish nor a rapper. Still, you can't blame a boy for trying.

I've been researching online at sites like Zalora and also seeing physical ones at F.O.S. etc, I realized on first impression they all look the same, but upon closer inspection you really see the difference in detail (collar, buttons etc) between the brands. Another major pain is colour selection!!! So hard to decide hahahaha.... Generally it's just 2 contrasting colours, some are just plain shitty combos and I know they would look awful on me.. Even after eliminating the nasty ones, there are still sooo many good ones to choose from. Browsing on Zalora gave me a headache haha...

Anyone here owns one? Maybe you can tell me where to get it or what colour to go for ;)

XOXO
So-not-Swaggg J-boy

The Result

Thanks everyone for your well wishes! I'm glad I mustered up the courage to go through with it..

Before I go on about the experience, I will just come out and say I'm fine (read: Negative)!!! Relieved is the only word I can think of... Not even going to celebrate or boast, really just thankful that after all I've done over the years, I'm still given the all clear. Testament that sticking to my 3 golden rules every single time I have sex has proven effective. I remember blogging about my golden rules in detail before, it goes something like:

1. No condom = no fuck
2. Don't swallow cum / Don't get cum in your mouth (esp casual hookups)
3. Anything that's been inside the ass doesn't go into the mouth

A mantra I repeat in my head before I go out to play. Rule 3 is really just a hygiene thing... which is why I say oral sex always precedes anal sex. OK, so I'm rigid & traditional when it comes to sex.

Anyway, I urge all of you reading this, if you are sexually active, have any kind of doubts or just worried about something stupid you've done in the past that may compromise your well being, please just go get tested. It gives you peace of mind. In the event that the result is undesirable, well..... it's better to find out sooner right, so you can start seeking treatment and controlling it.... it's not like if you don't know the result, then it won't be inside your body.... In this case, ignorance is not bliss. Fact is, if it's there it's there. Getting a HIV test just sheds light on what you should do next.

Yes the whole experience is daunting and the first time is shitty as hell. But I'm glad I did it. It's worth it. You're worth it. I went to the PT Foundation in KL near PWTC. Check out their website for all the info you need, eg. testing process, appointment slots.    
http://ptfmalaysia.org/v2/hiv-sti-info/make-an-appointment/

I learned that the PT foundation does amazing things for so many groups. They are accepting of everyone and not judgmental. The test is done at their health care center on the 2nd floor. It is recommended to call in advance to make an appointment. You walk in, the receptionist greets you and hands you a number. If it's your first time, you will be called in by a counselor to a room to brief you on the process and fee. The whole package costs only RM40, they will also ask if you would like to sponsor someone else who can't afford it. After all, the PT foundation caters to many groups, some which are underprivileged and may not be able to afford the test. Support if you are able.

You will then be asked to fill in a questionnaire, which really is just a survey to see how well people understand HIV and AIDS, like how it's transmitted, etc. Great way to bust some myths because the 2nd counselor who does the HIV test will go through it with you later. Oh, I should also mention that throughout the whole thing, you can remain completely anonymous. They don't ask for name or identification.

When you get called into a private room, the 2nd counselor will explain the process and provide necessary info. They do a great job explaining the whole 3 month window period thing, and how it usually takes about 1.5 months from time of exposure for the virus to be in detectable amounts.

You can ask him any questions and he will answer them without judging. He explains how the test kit works, basically they prick your finger, get some blood and load it into the test kit's cell. After 15 minutes, there are 3 possible results. The first (very unlikely), is that the result section shows nothing (no stripes), which means the test kit is faulty and you need to repeat the test with a new kit. Very unlikely, but sometimes manufacturing defects occur. The second possibility, is that one single stripe appears on the control section. This indicates that the kit is working, and because there is only 1 single stripe, it means your result is HIV Negative. The third possibility, is you have 2 stripes appearing on the results, one is the control, and the second one appears because your blood contains the HIV virus, giving the same effect as the positive control. WOW, am I making any sense? I'm really not good at explaining this hahaha....

The counselor will do a better job. After 15 minutes, you get called back into the room to see the result. You only get to see it with your eyes, there will be no written document stating your HIV status, nor do you get to keep the test kit as evidence. After all, it's meant to be anonymous.  If you want a proper documented result, maybe you need to go elsewhere, like a hospital.

It is recommended that we get tested every 6 months, or if you're really busy, then at least once a year. I hope this post helps anyone who has thought about going for a test!

XOXO
Be brave ;)

HIV Testing OMG :O

Now this is something I've always wanted to do, but never really had the guts to follow through.... till now.

Maybe it's the stigma associated with anyone who has a need to do a test, or just a fear of what the result might be.... I mean, I've always taken necessary precautions, I don't think I have ever had sex in a compromised condition, nor have I been raped or anything.... Still......... I have had more sexual partners in the past couple of years than I can remember or keep count, so that's not really a good sign.... Heck, I don't even remember who was the second last person I had fun with... Most I don't even remember their names or how they look like.

So there's always a possibility of What If the result comes back and it's............ would I really want to know right now? It could change my world forever.

I don't really know how I feel about it. On one hand I really do enjoy sex, it's like a recreation for me... a physical activity that you can engage with another person for mutual pleasure. God it feels damn good to be one with another human. On the other hand, I'm somehow made to feel (thanks to society) that it is wrong to be a whore. Apparently it's not morally acceptable to screw with many / random people. I don't feel too bad about doing it, but then again I think if it's something I wouldn't tell my friends or family, then it probably isn't such a good thing right? This may be hard for some of you to understand or accept, I can't really explain it myself.... There are just urges that can't be controlled, and when relief feels so mind blowingly awesome, how can you resist?

I don't know what made me call to make an appointment for the testing tomorrow. It's not a clinic, I just don't feel comfortable being judged by doctors or nurses. Somewhere else. Still, the idea terrifies me. I don't like talking to other (read: non gay) people about my personal preferences. They try to understand but they will never truly get it. Mixture of so many emotions. My heart is already beating faster than usual as I type this.... But eventually it needs to get done. Time to put this goal to bed once and for all.

Will fill you guys in on the details after the test.

XOXO

I Know Where He Lives

Wow, ok in a cruel twist of fate, I magically stumbled upon Joe's castle. You remember "Joe" right?

*In sarcastic manner (just in case you can't pick up tone from reading alone)*
Ohhh you know, it's just the hot piece of real estate from gym that I wasted an entire year fawning over like an overly emotional 15 year old girl, resulting in some of the shittiest & lowest moments of my life, and losing most of my readers in the process. Right?!?! No biggie..... *end of sarcastic tone*

Hahaha ok so maybe it isn't cruel, and there really isn't any kind of twist. I was just trying to sound dramatic. The truth is, I didn't really feel anything, because I don't feel for him anymore. Amazing how much difference a year makes right? And I promise, I wasn't stalking him at all. Totally unintentional and unexpected.

Was on my way home at night from gym, taking the usual road that I've been using for years, and there he was, like a little lamb grazing grass on the sidewalk, sitting pretty as though waiting for a famished wolf (or to my delight, A PACK of wolves) to come shred that poor little thing into chunks of bloody pieces. No farmer or sheep dog could have saved him.     

OK wow, where did that come from? So sorry........ I'm typing what comes to mind without much of a filter, so pardon my sadistic thoughts..... hahaha I promise they only occur in my imagination :P

Anyway, I was just surprised that his home was right smack on a road that I would pass by almost on a daily basis. It was like he was living under my nose and I didn't see it. Thank goodness I didn't discover this during THAT period, otherwise I probably would have drove past his house an unnecessary amount of times, and camped out on his driveway eating takeout and watching his every move. But those days are behind me.

So maybe this is God's way of helping me confirm that I have moved on................... Nahhh, God doesn't have time to give a fuck on my bullshit hahahaha XD


Here's to moving on and up in style ;)
XOXO

Life as a Sim

OK how many of you are excited about Sims 4 coming in September?

I know the Sims is not some hardcore or fuckingly brilliant game that requires great strategy / intelligence / teamwork, but there's just so much joy in living a virtual life haha, and acting out all your fantasies that you can't exactly do in real life, eg. get pregnant with your best friend's baby and then go marry someone else, live a career as a criminal, break up someone's marriage by sleeping with the husband just for the fun of it, make anyone fall in love with you just by talking to them repeatedly, marry a rich old husband just so you can inherit his wealth and well furnished home, etc.

Basically it's life and the universe at your finger tips, so many possibilities and endings, but ultimately in your control. Maybe I enjoy it so much because I have OCD.

But one thing I realized is I always tend to start off as a female character. No, it's not because I secretly want to be a woman (having a dick is great!), but to be honest a female Sim has so much more fun (picking out hot potential Sims for a husband), and ultimately they get a happy ending, eg. they can get pregnant, have super cute babies and basically a Sim to carry on her legacy and family name. But if you play as a gay male Sim, sure I mean you still get to pick a hot athletic husband, get married and move in together, but after that you just can't help but feel a sense of emptiness. I know this might sound wrong, but there isn't much going on for 2 guys after all the courtship and marriage. Life begins to get boring. Sure, you can adopt kids, but they wouldn't look like you or quite be the same. Then I start to feel bad for them, the gay Sim couple I mean.

OK I know it's warped.... but isn't this like a preview of real life? Makes you realize what a lonely path it is for people like us....................

Anyway, here's an awesome preview of Sims 4 haha:
 
XOXO