Unexpected

So here's an update on how things are going with bachelors 1 and 2.

Chapter 1: Not Quite There
Lust got the best of me. I was too eager to meet with guy no.2 and so was he. And we did.
I know I'm going to sound like a horrible person for saying this, but he wasn't what I thought he would be. He is not ugly, it's just.... not what I expected, as in he looked different from his pictures. It wasn't just the appearance, but his mannerism and even the way he walks was just weird, like his shoulders would sort of curl up like a tortoise. I don't know how to explain it, it just put me off completely. 

And his lack of hygiene was alarming. He didn't bother to wash his hands after using the toilet, he doesn't wear underwear, and when I met him he had been running around all day so he had this sweaty B.O. which made me cringe a little. To all guys out there, here's a little tip: It's basic grooming 101 to not stink when you go on a date. You don't have to put on any fancy cologne, just simple deodorant will do! You will be surprised at how important scent is when it comes to winning points.

This is what happens when the attraction is based on lust alone... the moment my mind didn't like what I saw, all that attraction just dissipated. And the WORST thing was that he became so into me after that meet up, and he started being even more affectionate than before, claiming that I looked like his ex, and wanting to meet again and so many messages. And you guys know I'm wired differently than most humans, the moment someone starts showing too much affection for me I will feel uncomfortable and lose all interest in them, and just run away. Maybe I'm emotionally damaged haha. Now I feel really guilty. I already told him the truth that I wasn't quite into him, but he kept on asking for a second chance. But with no more attraction I don't feel comfortable meeting him again. Man I feel like a horrible person.

Chapter 2: Don't Ruin This One
So I realized it was a bad idea to date someone based on sexual attraction alone. There should be some intellectual or social chemistry too, and you shouldn't intend to meet for sex on a date. It should be meant for getting to know each other. So on to guy no.1,  we have been exchanging friendly and non-sexual chats on Whatsapp. He asked me to go watch a movie with him on Friday night (which is today). So without hesitation I said yes. Sounds like fun haha :) Besides, I see him more as a friend now so I won't have that uncomfortable feeling or have expectations.

Apart from these 2 guys, I have recently also started exchanging messages with a handful of other guys from the dating app. Some of them have been really casual and infrequent, while one or two of them seem quite decent in terms of holding a conversation. So who knows? Maybe another date is in the line.  I'm not sure if it's appropriate to chat with so many guys at the same time, but I'm not seriously committed to anyone yet, so I guess it's fine to just go on dates with different guys right?

Either way, I should just take it slow :)