Gotta Have It: Varsity Jacket

It's something that I've been hunting for lately, and still haven't found a decent but relatively cheap one yet haha!

Not sure if it's still in trend (I always seem to be a little behind with trends lol), but one day I just randomly thought of getting one before my big holiday coming up in October! The Autumn-ish weather is gonna be about 14 - 17 degress, so a jacket over maybe a thicker inner shirt should be sufficient to keep me warm :)

And rather than the usual jacket/sweater/hoodie thing (I have 2 black ones from Uniqlo which I love coz its super comfy and I like to sniff the sleeves when it has that nice fabric-y smell mixed with your own scent haha), I feel I might need to raise the style stakes for where I'm going :P

OK maybe you think a varsity jacket isn't a stylish statement, but it's certainly more interesting than the plain ones. 3 words come to mind when I think of / see a Varsity jacket:

1. SWAG (pronounced with hand gesture and over-the-top emphasis on the G: Swagggggggg)

2. Young
3. Fraternity

Also it makes me want to break instantly into a rap or pull out some crazy hip hop dance move. So stereotypical American right!! OK I'm such a pretender hahaha, we all know I'm neither stylish nor a rapper. Still, you can't blame a boy for trying.

I've been researching online at sites like Zalora and also seeing physical ones at F.O.S. etc, I realized on first impression they all look the same, but upon closer inspection you really see the difference in detail (collar, buttons etc) between the brands. Another major pain is colour selection!!! So hard to decide hahahaha.... Generally it's just 2 contrasting colours, some are just plain shitty combos and I know they would look awful on me.. Even after eliminating the nasty ones, there are still sooo many good ones to choose from. Browsing on Zalora gave me a headache haha...

Anyone here owns one? Maybe you can tell me where to get it or what colour to go for ;)

XOXO
So-not-Swaggg J-boy

The Result

Thanks everyone for your well wishes! I'm glad I mustered up the courage to go through with it..

Before I go on about the experience, I will just come out and say I'm fine (read: Negative)!!! Relieved is the only word I can think of... Not even going to celebrate or boast, really just thankful that after all I've done over the years, I'm still given the all clear. Testament that sticking to my 3 golden rules every single time I have sex has proven effective. I remember blogging about my golden rules in detail before, it goes something like:

1. No condom = no fuck
2. Don't swallow cum / Don't get cum in your mouth (esp casual hookups)
3. Anything that's been inside the ass doesn't go into the mouth

A mantra I repeat in my head before I go out to play. Rule 3 is really just a hygiene thing... which is why I say oral sex always precedes anal sex. OK, so I'm rigid & traditional when it comes to sex.

Anyway, I urge all of you reading this, if you are sexually active, have any kind of doubts or just worried about something stupid you've done in the past that may compromise your well being, please just go get tested. It gives you peace of mind. In the event that the result is undesirable, well..... it's better to find out sooner right, so you can start seeking treatment and controlling it.... it's not like if you don't know the result, then it won't be inside your body.... In this case, ignorance is not bliss. Fact is, if it's there it's there. Getting a HIV test just sheds light on what you should do next.

Yes the whole experience is daunting and the first time is shitty as hell. But I'm glad I did it. It's worth it. You're worth it. I went to the PT Foundation in KL near PWTC. Check out their website for all the info you need, eg. testing process, appointment slots.    
http://ptfmalaysia.org/v2/hiv-sti-info/make-an-appointment/

I learned that the PT foundation does amazing things for so many groups. They are accepting of everyone and not judgmental. The test is done at their health care center on the 2nd floor. It is recommended to call in advance to make an appointment. You walk in, the receptionist greets you and hands you a number. If it's your first time, you will be called in by a counselor to a room to brief you on the process and fee. The whole package costs only RM40, they will also ask if you would like to sponsor someone else who can't afford it. After all, the PT foundation caters to many groups, some which are underprivileged and may not be able to afford the test. Support if you are able.

You will then be asked to fill in a questionnaire, which really is just a survey to see how well people understand HIV and AIDS, like how it's transmitted, etc. Great way to bust some myths because the 2nd counselor who does the HIV test will go through it with you later. Oh, I should also mention that throughout the whole thing, you can remain completely anonymous. They don't ask for name or identification.

When you get called into a private room, the 2nd counselor will explain the process and provide necessary info. They do a great job explaining the whole 3 month window period thing, and how it usually takes about 1.5 months from time of exposure for the virus to be in detectable amounts.

You can ask him any questions and he will answer them without judging. He explains how the test kit works, basically they prick your finger, get some blood and load it into the test kit's cell. After 15 minutes, there are 3 possible results. The first (very unlikely), is that the result section shows nothing (no stripes), which means the test kit is faulty and you need to repeat the test with a new kit. Very unlikely, but sometimes manufacturing defects occur. The second possibility, is that one single stripe appears on the control section. This indicates that the kit is working, and because there is only 1 single stripe, it means your result is HIV Negative. The third possibility, is you have 2 stripes appearing on the results, one is the control, and the second one appears because your blood contains the HIV virus, giving the same effect as the positive control. WOW, am I making any sense? I'm really not good at explaining this hahaha....

The counselor will do a better job. After 15 minutes, you get called back into the room to see the result. You only get to see it with your eyes, there will be no written document stating your HIV status, nor do you get to keep the test kit as evidence. After all, it's meant to be anonymous.  If you want a proper documented result, maybe you need to go elsewhere, like a hospital.

It is recommended that we get tested every 6 months, or if you're really busy, then at least once a year. I hope this post helps anyone who has thought about going for a test!

XOXO
Be brave ;)

HIV Testing OMG :O

Now this is something I've always wanted to do, but never really had the guts to follow through.... till now.

Maybe it's the stigma associated with anyone who has a need to do a test, or just a fear of what the result might be.... I mean, I've always taken necessary precautions, I don't think I have ever had sex in a compromised condition, nor have I been raped or anything.... Still......... I have had more sexual partners in the past couple of years than I can remember or keep count, so that's not really a good sign.... Heck, I don't even remember who was the second last person I had fun with... Most I don't even remember their names or how they look like.

So there's always a possibility of What If the result comes back and it's............ would I really want to know right now? It could change my world forever.

I don't really know how I feel about it. On one hand I really do enjoy sex, it's like a recreation for me... a physical activity that you can engage with another person for mutual pleasure. God it feels damn good to be one with another human. On the other hand, I'm somehow made to feel (thanks to society) that it is wrong to be a whore. Apparently it's not morally acceptable to screw with many / random people. I don't feel too bad about doing it, but then again I think if it's something I wouldn't tell my friends or family, then it probably isn't such a good thing right? This may be hard for some of you to understand or accept, I can't really explain it myself.... There are just urges that can't be controlled, and when relief feels so mind blowingly awesome, how can you resist?

I don't know what made me call to make an appointment for the testing tomorrow. It's not a clinic, I just don't feel comfortable being judged by doctors or nurses. Somewhere else. Still, the idea terrifies me. I don't like talking to other (read: non gay) people about my personal preferences. They try to understand but they will never truly get it. Mixture of so many emotions. My heart is already beating faster than usual as I type this.... But eventually it needs to get done. Time to put this goal to bed once and for all.

Will fill you guys in on the details after the test.

XOXO

I Know Where He Lives

Wow, ok in a cruel twist of fate, I magically stumbled upon Joe's castle. You remember "Joe" right?

*In sarcastic manner (just in case you can't pick up tone from reading alone)*
Ohhh you know, it's just the hot piece of real estate from gym that I wasted an entire year fawning over like an overly emotional 15 year old girl, resulting in some of the shittiest & lowest moments of my life, and losing most of my readers in the process. Right?!?! No biggie..... *end of sarcastic tone*

Hahaha ok so maybe it isn't cruel, and there really isn't any kind of twist. I was just trying to sound dramatic. The truth is, I didn't really feel anything, because I don't feel for him anymore. Amazing how much difference a year makes right? And I promise, I wasn't stalking him at all. Totally unintentional and unexpected.

Was on my way home at night from gym, taking the usual road that I've been using for years, and there he was, like a little lamb grazing grass on the sidewalk, sitting pretty as though waiting for a famished wolf (or to my delight, A PACK of wolves) to come shred that poor little thing into chunks of bloody pieces. No farmer or sheep dog could have saved him.     

OK wow, where did that come from? So sorry........ I'm typing what comes to mind without much of a filter, so pardon my sadistic thoughts..... hahaha I promise they only occur in my imagination :P

Anyway, I was just surprised that his home was right smack on a road that I would pass by almost on a daily basis. It was like he was living under my nose and I didn't see it. Thank goodness I didn't discover this during THAT period, otherwise I probably would have drove past his house an unnecessary amount of times, and camped out on his driveway eating takeout and watching his every move. But those days are behind me.

So maybe this is God's way of helping me confirm that I have moved on................... Nahhh, God doesn't have time to give a fuck on my bullshit hahahaha XD


Here's to moving on and up in style ;)
XOXO

Life as a Sim

OK how many of you are excited about Sims 4 coming in September?

I know the Sims is not some hardcore or fuckingly brilliant game that requires great strategy / intelligence / teamwork, but there's just so much joy in living a virtual life haha, and acting out all your fantasies that you can't exactly do in real life, eg. get pregnant with your best friend's baby and then go marry someone else, live a career as a criminal, break up someone's marriage by sleeping with the husband just for the fun of it, make anyone fall in love with you just by talking to them repeatedly, marry a rich old husband just so you can inherit his wealth and well furnished home, etc.

Basically it's life and the universe at your finger tips, so many possibilities and endings, but ultimately in your control. Maybe I enjoy it so much because I have OCD.

But one thing I realized is I always tend to start off as a female character. No, it's not because I secretly want to be a woman (having a dick is great!), but to be honest a female Sim has so much more fun (picking out hot potential Sims for a husband), and ultimately they get a happy ending, eg. they can get pregnant, have super cute babies and basically a Sim to carry on her legacy and family name. But if you play as a gay male Sim, sure I mean you still get to pick a hot athletic husband, get married and move in together, but after that you just can't help but feel a sense of emptiness. I know this might sound wrong, but there isn't much going on for 2 guys after all the courtship and marriage. Life begins to get boring. Sure, you can adopt kids, but they wouldn't look like you or quite be the same. Then I start to feel bad for them, the gay Sim couple I mean.

OK I know it's warped.... but isn't this like a preview of real life? Makes you realize what a lonely path it is for people like us....................

Anyway, here's an awesome preview of Sims 4 haha:
 
XOXO

Naughty Stuff in the Car

OK I'm not sure how many of you have tried this, but the experience was exhilarating!

Was on my way home after lunch, suddenly it started to pour heavily... So even though I was approaching home, I knew I couldn't get off the car without getting drenched, so a sudden dirty thought came over me and I decided to make a detour.

I was looking for a spot to park, and ended up at a relatively quiet commercial area which comprised mostly of offices that were closed on Sunday. I parked at the last spot of a row of cars, switched off the wipers and lights to avoid drawing attention... Then I reclined my seat all the way down and towards the back. I was able to lay so low, people wouldn't know I was in the car haha..

You know where this is going right?

And then I pulled up my shirt, unzipped my pants and started working LOL. The whole experience of doing it in "public" and the risk of getting caught made it that much more fun. Or maybe I was just super horny. It didn't take more than 2 minutes I think hahahaha. And a tip if you're gonna do this: Have lots of tissue on stand by because you don't wanna mess up the car haha.

I was lucky not a single person walked by, probably because it was raining so heavily. But imagine if the driver in the next car suddenly appeared, I would have been completely exposed and helpless. So like I said, pick a quiet / deserted spot. The rain helps.

Couldn't help but notice the distinct smell in the car afterwards. I actually had to open the window a little to air it out LOL.

I think this is the first time I have ever done it in public, excluding public toilets / gym shower of course. It's not just me right? I think every guy would have attempted to, or at least thought about doing it in the car right haha :P

XOXO
Nasty J-boy 

New Guy

Back from Singapore! Had an awesome getaway and did everything I planned to do. Realizing how much I enjoyed holidaying by myself is worrying. On one hand it shows how I can live independently and not fall to pieces without a support system, but on the other it confirms that I'm by nature, a selfish person. I like to do things on my own, in my own pace and schedule, and tend to disregard others when they try to be inclusive or suggestive. You guys already know how I tend to push people away, and then later complain that I have no one around me.

Something I have to work on.

But erm, things happened a little differently this time round in Singapore. Yes, I did go to CC and mingled with the locals, but there was something a little more.... human. The first night I met this guy, who is hot-cute but not what I typically go for, but he turned out to be such a nice guy. There was a lot of conversation, and he even offered to have dinner later. Usually I say 'No thanks' to after sex activities because I perceive them to be awkward and redundant, but the part of me that wants to change just thought 'What the hell, just go, it won't kill you'.... besides, I was hungry and intended to eat anyway. Turns out he went with a friend, so I ended up eating and chatting with the both of them at a nearby coffee shop, talking about Singapore and what it's like to grow up there. Oh, and I also mentioned so much trash talk about Malaysia. LOL. The experience was surprisingly good.

On Sat night I went again (because I'm a sex craved whore), and this time it was a hunkier, hotter guy LOL and the sex was better hahaha... We did it in like so many positions, I gotta say the guys in Singapore know their stuff when it comes to doing it. The after sex cuddling was very enjoyable....... at that moment I realized it might not be such a bad thing to let someone in and be in a proper relationship, as terrifying as it is. Obviously I don't mean this particular guy, but more like in general.... it made me realized the potential possibilities if I actually opened up my heart (not my butt) a little more, and be more open and out. Anyway, I ended up having dinner with him too, and it was a nice way to close the evening.

Back to Malaysia.

Actually some things have been going on before the trip. Quite random, but I will spit it out because it needs to come out.

1. I have been chatting and mostly sexting with this guy I met on Jack'd. He's kind of hot and the initial conversation was intelligent and charming, but somewhere along the way it became really sex oriented to the point that we've been exchanging some really indecent pictures LOL. Oh, and he happens to be Indian. I had no problems with it because he's hot, but since coming back from Singapore I have been having doubts about what we have going on.... I mean at this stage it's still VERY casual, so I don't really need to put an end to it, just to see how things progress.... But part of me feels like I should because it's not quite going where I want it to be or what I want, and the race thing definitely pops up in my mind when it comes to compatibility..

2. I have been developing a huge crush on this other guy at the gym. I may have mentioned him before in a recent post. But remember my post on Joe vs. Urban Guy? The comparison I made on Joe (typical straight behaviour) and guys that appear more likely to be gay due to certain signs? Well, this new guy exhibits Gay-er tendencies... eg. his ear is pierced and I've seen him wearing an ear ring, he carries a very gay looking bagpack, he wears tight / skinny pants as his work attire, and the way he jogs on the treadmill is kind of gay LOL. I feel like I need an entire post to talk about him hahaha.... Actually I wasn't attracted to him at all to begin with, but he works out with this other guy that is slightly shorter, but hotter... So I had eyes on the shorter guy initially, but somewhere along the way my attention shifted to his taller, glasses wearing friend. OK, normally I don't like glasses wearing guys, but he takes them off when he works out and only puts it back on after he showers. And for a change, I'm kind of digging the geeky vibe he has going on. OK, and he has a nice chest and arms too.

Anyway, the reason I'm crushing on him is because we have had some weird, staring moments, much like the ones I had with Joe, which creeps me out because then I know I'm heading in the wrong direction, or going crazy again. But it's more obvious this time, because I know he and his friend, have a tendency to pause and stare at me when I'm near, and it's not the bad kind.. like I feel a positive vibe. And tall guy gets kind of cute awkward around me, and I do what I do best when I'm nervous: I pretend I don't see him at all. The other day when we were approaching each other on opposite ends of the hallway, I noticed he was so shy he stared on the ground as he walked pass, which was exactly what I did when I was walking by Joe last year hahaha!! Again, I know it's too early to say anything, maybe I should embrace my new open-ness and just say hi to him, or even a smile just to let him know I won't bite off his head if he decides to approach.

Will try my best to make a change haha!!

And to my nun sister, if you're reading this, welcome back to the blogosphere LOL :P

P.S. I love Sheena, she oozes that 'Glamarous, rich bitch' feel... If you don't know who she is, please slap yourself thank you very much

XOXO