I finally got a reply.. but it only came after I continued confronting him otherwise he would have stayed silent. I said some nasty things because I was so sick of waiting. Stuff like:
I give up.. i tried. i did. Sorry I even approached you. More sorry that I wasted so much of time. Yeah mine, not yours.. coz u probably don't give a fuck anyway...
and
Be a man, voice up. If u don't want me to talk to u anymore, that's fine. But give me a reason.
A bit harsh. I know. But it worked. He wrote back...
Apparently he wasn't impressed that I still hadn't introduce myself.
He also didn't like me talking about him to other ppl.. coz i mentioned talking to 'friends' which is actually you guys and he thought i was telling uni friends about him.
And finally he felt some of my previous messages were disturbing considering he didn't knew me. He was referring to that message where i volunteered to be fucked and asked if he wanted a blowjob. Yeah i know it was stupid.
But the last line made me feel better:
p/s we can be friends just chill and dont be so emo
OK so I knew what I had to do next. No more hiding. I said my name followed by a mini essay on myself.. I overcame my greatest fear of revealing my true self.. ignoring the consequences especially after all the crazy things i wrote to him.
I felt like i could trust him. Somehow i felt comfortable. It was time to come clean. Then i waited anxiously to see what he had to say...
see was that so hard ... anyway nice to meet you and good luck in your exams
OK the 'good luck in your exams' part is just super lame and sounds like something u say to someone u don't expect to talk to anytime soon.
But at least he is cool with me. the real me.
And you guys are right! All this while I expected him to have feelings for me but it was just in my head. I guess not everyone falls in love at first sight like me. I understand now.
Everything develops from a friendship right... We should get to know each other before anything can happen. So now I will try to cut down on the craziness and just be myself. Yeah, I'll relax and let my true character shine. Let him see me for who I am. Time will tell.
Relieved to know you finally have the courage to identify to him who you are.... given time, the appropriate thing will take its course..
ReplyDeleteKor, i should probably slap you for thinking too much, but also i wanna give you the biggest hug in the world. Relax more okay? And good luck for you and his friendship :)
ReplyDeleteHuh...u even offered to be fucked and BJ...what a brave man u were...not everyone bite this. Hope u have woke up by now
ReplyDelete@pikey: yeah it just felt like the right time
ReplyDelete@bro: yes i'll relax! But he is the type of guy that doesn't say much. every time i ask/say something, his reply is short, almost serious, he hasn't joke or sent any smileys to me.. And i can't write to him too often also, it may annoy him.. so i don't see this friendship going anywhere...
@sky: yes i learned my lesson already!!
Korkor, korkor~ Yeah i know.. I actually despise guys like that.. But oh well.. Just keep trying la, and then on your side, you need to TRY HARD to not make yourself look so despo and paranoid.
ReplyDeleteYou poor thing i wanna give you big big hugs now :)