Wow, ok in a cruel twist of fate, I magically stumbled upon Joe's castle. You remember "Joe" right?
*In sarcastic manner (just in case you can't pick up tone from reading alone)*
Ohhh you know, it's just the hot piece of real estate from gym that I wasted an entire year fawning over like an overly emotional 15 year old girl, resulting in some of the shittiest & lowest moments of my life, and losing most of my readers in the process. Right?!?! No biggie..... *end of sarcastic tone*
Hahaha ok so maybe it isn't cruel, and there really isn't any kind of twist. I was just trying to sound dramatic. The truth is, I didn't really feel anything, because I don't feel for him anymore. Amazing how much difference a year makes right? And I promise, I wasn't stalking him at all. Totally unintentional and unexpected.
Was on my way home at night from gym, taking the usual road that I've been using for years, and there he was, like a little lamb grazing grass on the sidewalk, sitting pretty as though waiting for a famished wolf (or to my delight, A PACK of wolves) to come shred that poor little thing into chunks of bloody pieces. No farmer or sheep dog could have saved him.
OK wow, where did that come from? So sorry........ I'm typing what comes to mind without much of a filter, so pardon my sadistic thoughts..... hahaha I promise they only occur in my imagination :P
Anyway, I was just surprised that his home was right smack on a road that I would pass by almost on a daily basis. It was like he was living under my nose and I didn't see it. Thank goodness I didn't discover this during THAT period, otherwise I probably would have drove past his house an unnecessary amount of times, and camped out on his driveway eating takeout and watching his every move. But those days are behind me.
So maybe this is God's way of helping me confirm that I have moved on................... Nahhh, God doesn't have time to give a fuck on my bullshit hahahaha XD
Here's to moving on and up in style ;)
XOXO
Monday, June 30, 2014
Monday, June 23, 2014
Life as a Sim
OK how many of you are excited about Sims 4 coming in September?
I know the Sims is not some hardcore or fuckingly brilliant game that requires great strategy / intelligence / teamwork, but there's just so much joy in living a virtual life haha, and acting out all your fantasies that you can't exactly do in real life, eg. get pregnant with your best friend's baby and then go marry someone else, live a career as a criminal, break up someone's marriage by sleeping with the husband just for the fun of it, make anyone fall in love with you just by talking to them repeatedly, marry a rich old husband just so you can inherit his wealth and well furnished home, etc.
Basically it's life and the universe at your finger tips, so many possibilities and endings, but ultimately in your control. Maybe I enjoy it so much because I have OCD.
But one thing I realized is I always tend to start off as a female character. No, it's not because I secretly want to be a woman (having a dick is great!), but to be honest a female Sim has so much more fun (picking out hot potential Sims for a husband), and ultimately they get a happy ending, eg. they can get pregnant, have super cute babies and basically a Sim to carry on her legacy and family name. But if you play as a gay male Sim, sure I mean you still get to pick a hot athletic husband, get married and move in together, but after that you just can't help but feel a sense of emptiness. I know this might sound wrong, but there isn't much going on for 2 guys after all the courtship and marriage. Life begins to get boring. Sure, you can adopt kids, but they wouldn't look like you or quite be the same. Then I start to feel bad for them, the gay Sim couple I mean.
OK I know it's warped.... but isn't this like a preview of real life? Makes you realize what a lonely path it is for people like us....................
Anyway, here's an awesome preview of Sims 4 haha:
XOXO
I know the Sims is not some hardcore or fuckingly brilliant game that requires great strategy / intelligence / teamwork, but there's just so much joy in living a virtual life haha, and acting out all your fantasies that you can't exactly do in real life, eg. get pregnant with your best friend's baby and then go marry someone else, live a career as a criminal, break up someone's marriage by sleeping with the husband just for the fun of it, make anyone fall in love with you just by talking to them repeatedly, marry a rich old husband just so you can inherit his wealth and well furnished home, etc.
Basically it's life and the universe at your finger tips, so many possibilities and endings, but ultimately in your control. Maybe I enjoy it so much because I have OCD.
But one thing I realized is I always tend to start off as a female character. No, it's not because I secretly want to be a woman (having a dick is great!), but to be honest a female Sim has so much more fun (picking out hot potential Sims for a husband), and ultimately they get a happy ending, eg. they can get pregnant, have super cute babies and basically a Sim to carry on her legacy and family name. But if you play as a gay male Sim, sure I mean you still get to pick a hot athletic husband, get married and move in together, but after that you just can't help but feel a sense of emptiness. I know this might sound wrong, but there isn't much going on for 2 guys after all the courtship and marriage. Life begins to get boring. Sure, you can adopt kids, but they wouldn't look like you or quite be the same. Then I start to feel bad for them, the gay Sim couple I mean.
OK I know it's warped.... but isn't this like a preview of real life? Makes you realize what a lonely path it is for people like us....................
Anyway, here's an awesome preview of Sims 4 haha:
XOXO
Sunday, June 1, 2014
Naughty Stuff in the Car
OK I'm not sure how many of you have tried this, but the experience was exhilarating!
Was on my way home after lunch, suddenly it started to pour heavily... So even though I was approaching home, I knew I couldn't get off the car without getting drenched, so a sudden dirty thought came over me and I decided to make a detour.
I was looking for a spot to park, and ended up at a relatively quiet commercial area which comprised mostly of offices that were closed on Sunday. I parked at the last spot of a row of cars, switched off the wipers and lights to avoid drawing attention... Then I reclined my seat all the way down and towards the back. I was able to lay so low, people wouldn't know I was in the car haha..
You know where this is going right?
And then I pulled up my shirt, unzipped my pants and started working LOL. The whole experience of doing it in "public" and the risk of getting caught made it that much more fun. Or maybe I was just super horny. It didn't take more than 2 minutes I think hahahaha. And a tip if you're gonna do this: Have lots of tissue on stand by because you don't wanna mess up the car haha.
I was lucky not a single person walked by, probably because it was raining so heavily. But imagine if the driver in the next car suddenly appeared, I would have been completely exposed and helpless. So like I said, pick a quiet / deserted spot. The rain helps.
Couldn't help but notice the distinct smell in the car afterwards. I actually had to open the window a little to air it out LOL.
I think this is the first time I have ever done it in public, excluding public toilets / gym shower of course. It's not just me right? I think every guy would have attempted to, or at least thought about doing it in the car right haha :P
XOXO
Nasty J-boy
Was on my way home after lunch, suddenly it started to pour heavily... So even though I was approaching home, I knew I couldn't get off the car without getting drenched, so a sudden dirty thought came over me and I decided to make a detour.
I was looking for a spot to park, and ended up at a relatively quiet commercial area which comprised mostly of offices that were closed on Sunday. I parked at the last spot of a row of cars, switched off the wipers and lights to avoid drawing attention... Then I reclined my seat all the way down and towards the back. I was able to lay so low, people wouldn't know I was in the car haha..
You know where this is going right?
And then I pulled up my shirt, unzipped my pants and started working LOL. The whole experience of doing it in "public" and the risk of getting caught made it that much more fun. Or maybe I was just super horny. It didn't take more than 2 minutes I think hahahaha. And a tip if you're gonna do this: Have lots of tissue on stand by because you don't wanna mess up the car haha.
I was lucky not a single person walked by, probably because it was raining so heavily. But imagine if the driver in the next car suddenly appeared, I would have been completely exposed and helpless. So like I said, pick a quiet / deserted spot. The rain helps.
Couldn't help but notice the distinct smell in the car afterwards. I actually had to open the window a little to air it out LOL.
I think this is the first time I have ever done it in public, excluding public toilets / gym shower of course. It's not just me right? I think every guy would have attempted to, or at least thought about doing it in the car right haha :P
XOXO
Nasty J-boy
Friday, May 9, 2014
New Guy
Back from Singapore! Had an awesome getaway and did everything I planned to do. Realizing how much I enjoyed holidaying by myself is worrying. On one hand it shows how I can live independently and not fall to pieces without a support system, but on the other it confirms that I'm by nature, a selfish person. I like to do things on my own, in my own pace and schedule, and tend to disregard others when they try to be inclusive or suggestive. You guys already know how I tend to push people away, and then later complain that I have no one around me.
Something I have to work on.
But erm, things happened a little differently this time round in Singapore. Yes, I did go to CC and mingled with the locals, but there was something a little more.... human. The first night I met this guy, who is hot-cute but not what I typically go for, but he turned out to be such a nice guy. There was a lot of conversation, and he even offered to have dinner later. Usually I say 'No thanks' to after sex activities because I perceive them to be awkward and redundant, but the part of me that wants to change just thought 'What the hell, just go, it won't kill you'.... besides, I was hungry and intended to eat anyway. Turns out he went with a friend, so I ended up eating and chatting with the both of them at a nearby coffee shop, talking about Singapore and what it's like to grow up there. Oh, and I also mentioned so much trash talk about Malaysia. LOL. The experience was surprisingly good.
On Sat night I went again (because I'm a sex craved whore), and this time it was a hunkier, hotter guy LOL and the sex was better hahaha... We did it in like so many positions, I gotta say the guys in Singapore know their stuff when it comes to doing it. The after sex cuddling was very enjoyable....... at that moment I realized it might not be such a bad thing to let someone in and be in a proper relationship, as terrifying as it is. Obviously I don't mean this particular guy, but more like in general.... it made me realized the potential possibilities if I actually opened up my heart (not my butt) a little more, and be more open and out. Anyway, I ended up having dinner with him too, and it was a nice way to close the evening.
Back to Malaysia.
Actually some things have been going on before the trip. Quite random, but I will spit it out because it needs to come out.
1. I have been chatting and mostly sexting with this guy I met on Jack'd. He's kind of hot and the initial conversation was intelligent and charming, but somewhere along the way it became really sex oriented to the point that we've been exchanging some really indecent pictures LOL. Oh, and he happens to be Indian. I had no problems with it because he's hot, but since coming back from Singapore I have been having doubts about what we have going on.... I mean at this stage it's still VERY casual, so I don't really need to put an end to it, just to see how things progress.... But part of me feels like I should because it's not quite going where I want it to be or what I want, and the race thing definitely pops up in my mind when it comes to compatibility..
2. I have been developing a huge crush on this other guy at the gym. I may have mentioned him before in a recent post. But remember my post on Joe vs. Urban Guy? The comparison I made on Joe (typical straight behaviour) and guys that appear more likely to be gay due to certain signs? Well, this new guy exhibits Gay-er tendencies... eg. his ear is pierced and I've seen him wearing an ear ring, he carries a very gay looking bagpack, he wears tight / skinny pants as his work attire, and the way he jogs on the treadmill is kind of gay LOL. I feel like I need an entire post to talk about him hahaha.... Actually I wasn't attracted to him at all to begin with, but he works out with this other guy that is slightly shorter, but hotter... So I had eyes on the shorter guy initially, but somewhere along the way my attention shifted to his taller, glasses wearing friend. OK, normally I don't like glasses wearing guys, but he takes them off when he works out and only puts it back on after he showers. And for a change, I'm kind of digging the geeky vibe he has going on. OK, and he has a nice chest and arms too.
Anyway, the reason I'm crushing on him is because we have had some weird, staring moments, much like the ones I had with Joe, which creeps me out because then I know I'm heading in the wrong direction, or going crazy again. But it's more obvious this time, because I know he and his friend, have a tendency to pause and stare at me when I'm near, and it's not the bad kind.. like I feel a positive vibe. And tall guy gets kind of cute awkward around me, and I do what I do best when I'm nervous: I pretend I don't see him at all. The other day when we were approaching each other on opposite ends of the hallway, I noticed he was so shy he stared on the ground as he walked pass, which was exactly what I did when I was walking by Joe last year hahaha!! Again, I know it's too early to say anything, maybe I should embrace my new open-ness and just say hi to him, or even a smile just to let him know I won't bite off his head if he decides to approach.
Will try my best to make a change haha!!
And to my nun sister, if you're reading this, welcome back to the blogosphere LOL :P
P.S. I love Sheena, she oozes that 'Glamarous, rich bitch' feel... If you don't know who she is, please slap yourself thank you very much
XOXO
Something I have to work on.
But erm, things happened a little differently this time round in Singapore. Yes, I did go to CC and mingled with the locals, but there was something a little more.... human. The first night I met this guy, who is hot-cute but not what I typically go for, but he turned out to be such a nice guy. There was a lot of conversation, and he even offered to have dinner later. Usually I say 'No thanks' to after sex activities because I perceive them to be awkward and redundant, but the part of me that wants to change just thought 'What the hell, just go, it won't kill you'.... besides, I was hungry and intended to eat anyway. Turns out he went with a friend, so I ended up eating and chatting with the both of them at a nearby coffee shop, talking about Singapore and what it's like to grow up there. Oh, and I also mentioned so much trash talk about Malaysia. LOL. The experience was surprisingly good.
On Sat night I went again (
Back to Malaysia.
Actually some things have been going on before the trip. Quite random, but I will spit it out because it needs to come out.
1. I have been chatting and mostly sexting with this guy I met on Jack'd. He's kind of hot and the initial conversation was intelligent and charming, but somewhere along the way it became really sex oriented to the point that we've been exchanging some really indecent pictures LOL. Oh, and he happens to be Indian. I had no problems with it because he's hot, but since coming back from Singapore I have been having doubts about what we have going on.... I mean at this stage it's still VERY casual, so I don't really need to put an end to it, just to see how things progress.... But part of me feels like I should because it's not quite going where I want it to be or what I want, and the race thing definitely pops up in my mind when it comes to compatibility..
2. I have been developing a huge crush on this other guy at the gym. I may have mentioned him before in a recent post. But remember my post on Joe vs. Urban Guy? The comparison I made on Joe (typical straight behaviour) and guys that appear more likely to be gay due to certain signs? Well, this new guy exhibits Gay-er tendencies... eg. his ear is pierced and I've seen him wearing an ear ring, he carries a very gay looking bagpack, he wears tight / skinny pants as his work attire, and the way he jogs on the treadmill is kind of gay LOL. I feel like I need an entire post to talk about him hahaha.... Actually I wasn't attracted to him at all to begin with, but he works out with this other guy that is slightly shorter, but hotter... So I had eyes on the shorter guy initially, but somewhere along the way my attention shifted to his taller, glasses wearing friend. OK, normally I don't like glasses wearing guys, but he takes them off when he works out and only puts it back on after he showers. And for a change, I'm kind of digging the geeky vibe he has going on. OK, and he has a nice chest and arms too.
Anyway, the reason I'm crushing on him is because we have had some weird, staring moments, much like the ones I had with Joe, which creeps me out because then I know I'm heading in the wrong direction, or going crazy again. But it's more obvious this time, because I know he and his friend, have a tendency to pause and stare at me when I'm near, and it's not the bad kind.. like I feel a positive vibe. And tall guy gets kind of cute awkward around me, and I do what I do best when I'm nervous: I pretend I don't see him at all. The other day when we were approaching each other on opposite ends of the hallway, I noticed he was so shy he stared on the ground as he walked pass, which was exactly what I did when I was walking by Joe last year hahaha!! Again, I know it's too early to say anything, maybe I should embrace my new open-ness and just say hi to him, or even a smile just to let him know I won't bite off his head if he decides to approach.
Will try my best to make a change haha!!
And to my nun sister, if you're reading this, welcome back to the blogosphere LOL :P
P.S. I love Sheena, she oozes that 'Glamarous, rich bitch' feel... If you don't know who she is, please slap yourself thank you very much
XOXO
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Singapore Soon :)
Will be going on a short, solo getaway to Merlion land from May 1st to 4th, celebrating Labour Day with the nation of tanned, meaty hot hunks haha!
A couple of things on my itinerary, including going on the Southern Ridges trail which sounds really cool and doing some touristy stuff like the new River Safari and the dinosaur exhibit at the Art Science museum. There's also this ice carving art exhibition at Marina Bay where the temp is kept at -15 degrees Celcius.
Of course, you know a solo trip entails some not-so-solo action hehehe..... will be mingling with some locals *cough* depending what special events are happening at which joint ;)
But it would also be nice to meet up with anyone who might be there as well.... so if any bloggers or readers wanna show me a good time hahaha (note: Not limited to sex, please... can be casual makan-minum), feel free to contact me via fb or email, and I'll see what I can do ;)
I will leave you with some pictures like some travel ad haha :)
XOXO
A couple of things on my itinerary, including going on the Southern Ridges trail which sounds really cool and doing some touristy stuff like the new River Safari and the dinosaur exhibit at the Art Science museum. There's also this ice carving art exhibition at Marina Bay where the temp is kept at -15 degrees Celcius.
Of course, you know a solo trip entails some not-so-solo action hehehe..... will be mingling with some locals *cough* depending what special events are happening at which joint ;)
But it would also be nice to meet up with anyone who might be there as well.... so if any bloggers or readers wanna show me a good time hahaha (note: Not limited to sex, please... can be casual makan-minum), feel free to contact me via fb or email, and I'll see what I can do ;)
I will leave you with some pictures like some travel ad haha :)
XOXO
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Unexpected Cruising Experience!!
Still can't believe it happened haha! Sometimes you go to a "Hot Spot" with the intention to cruise and get lucky, but those of you who have tried it would know that 90% of the time nothing really happens and you end up wasting time strolling or waiting somewhere.
The actual "Cruising" phenomenon probably died down since the invention of mobile apps, which makes hookups so much easier. Yet it lacks a certain thrill of those good old not-sure-what-you're-gonna-get hunts I've heard about. These days a lot of the so called cruising are premeditated online through certain channels. So when you go to a specific place at a specific time, you are bound to "run into" the person that you contacted before hand. That's not real cruising.
I admit to random trips before, but that was not what I had in mind today. Had a 3pm appointment in Bukit Bintang, but I reached earlier to have lunch and was walking around to kill time. I entered Sg. Wang Plaza since I've not been there in ages. This place is compact and has many shops, eventually I ended up near Metrojaya and was resting at the porch overlooking things happening on the ground floor. Suddenly a guy stood next to me and was looking down to. Not sure how long he had been tailing me. He started talking, I think he said something like (in Mandarin) 'This place is so quiet these days...'. I was stunned, totally didn't expect a random person would talk to me.... but I kind of figured out what his intentions were. There was some lame small talk for a bit (why are you here / did you come alone / where do you stay / you come here often), I was still processing in my mind if I should go along with it, or run away because he might be dangerous haha coz he was carrying a gym bag and I didn't know what was inside, like whether he would take out a knife and rob me when we went somewhere quiet, does he have an accomplice etc. So many thoughts crossed my mind!!
Let's talk looks. He was taller than me (+ point), wearing specs (- point), decent chest & biceps where you can tell he gyms but not hunky yet (+ point), had lots of stubby facial hair which is sexy (+ point), his arms and later I found out his junk was super hairy (+ point for me haha) as in like hair was growing more than halfway down his shaft!!, and he was tanned like a Singaporean (+ point). He didn't have screaming good looks, actually kind of geeky but was decent enough for me. He said he was 35-something (wasn't really listening) but he looked at most 28-ish. To be completely honest, if he wasn't as appealing, I would have bolted away LOL. I was excited that I was actually getting cruised, so eventually when he said 'Let's take a walk', I knew that was the cue for the next phase.
He seemed to know the place. We went 2 floors up, went to a quiet corner and through a door, then another... We reached some scary, abandoned looking lift area and he wanted to go even deeper, my instinct told me otherwise, I said 'No, I don't want to go there'. He replied 'Ok, let's go back outside'.
I then suggested the toilet, which is safer & kind of like where I'm used to operate LOL, 'OK let's go'. Went to the urinal, he whipped it out and it was already hard, I grabbed it and wanted to pull him into the stalls, only to find that one had no door, the other was locked, and the third looked ok, until we went in and the door couldn't close properly (FML), all of this happened while his cock was still out! So risky hahaha... luckily no one came in :P
'Let's find somewhere else'. At this point it was like the Amazing Race already, I discovered how much hard work public sex is. 'I know this other place, it's part of the stairs but it's a quiet spot at a dead end, the place is near the top but a little hot'. I was like 'Fine, whatever, as long as it's safe.'. 'Yes it is'. So he led me up another floor, made a turn somewhere and out of the blue there was this random door that opened to the staircase. It looked deserted. We went up 1 or 2 floors I think, turned somewhere else and went up more stairs... I think we passed by a parking lot? I saw parking pillars if not mistaken. But we were still indoors, I just didn't know where. In the corner, I looked on the wall and recognized the yellow-brown splashing stains that painted MUCH of the wall. CUM, confirm CUM stains. I know because I accidentally made a mess in my room once and the mark can still be seen today LOL. I actually asked 'Are these stains yours?' hahahahahahaha don't ask me what I was thinking, to which he replied 'No, many people come (CUM) here too'. So funny!!
Don't wanna ruin your dinner by telling you what we did.... not much.... I wanted to blow him off but he stopped me halfway, said something like 'I like you so much, I don't want it to end like that, no point if we're not making love'. I was like.......... okkkkkk, this is a hookup, I don't intend to be your wife. And frankly I have feelings for someone else. So there was a lot of cuddling and cute touching going on.... I went along with it, I don't know why..... Eventually I didn't feel safe, kept feeling like someone would walk by and hearing noises. Wanted to leave, then he just whipped his junk out again and started whacking off facing the WALL. Poor wall, I think some of those stains must be his haha, although he said 'I've not been here in months'. To be polite, I offered to lend a hand, he obliged.... He then forcefully grabbed me there and started stroking.... I didn't really had a choice so he came all over the place, I followed. This time it was the floor, not the wall. I suspect tiles would be easier to clean off. Very sorry, cleaning lady!
Could tell he was getting a little too attached, I freaked a little but played along, again. Went to the loo, cleaned up.... This guy has like Dettol shower gel and mouthrinse in his gym bag. Nope, he didn't offer any to me. He wanted to hang out, "Do you wanna go watch a movie', 'Do you have a bf?', I said I had an appointment. 'Is he a guy? Are you meeting your bf?'. 'No.'.
You know that feeling, right after sex, sometimes you feel guilty or regretful... Well, I felf kind of shitty for playing with someone I didn't really like/love, so I decided to plot my escape. I knew he was going to ask for my number before we parted ways...... He wanted to walk me back to Pavilion. Near the bridge that links Sg. Wang to Lot 10, he needed to pee, I said 'I'll wait for you outside'. The second he went in, I bolted like a race horse, it's quite hilarious thinking about it now, but when it happened I was like running for my life haha! People must think I've gone nuts. I ran across the bridge into Isetan, got down the escalators to the Hutong food court, sneaked out the other exit and basically speed walked my way into Fahrenheit 88. All of that while looking back constantly to see if he was chasing after me. Crazy right!?!?! Was sweating like crazy when I finally stopped. I went into one of the toilet stalls on the 2nd floor of Fahrenheit, and guess what? I heard people having sex in the next cubicle!! It was so obvious, I'm surprised they picked such a busy toilet. I know BB is the Golden Triangle of Gayness, but wow today I experienced first hand how happening it truly is!!
Not sure if I made the right choice to run. He's actually a decent guy. It's just that when someone gets overly interested or clingy, it scares me and I flee. That's a terrible defense mechanism. Just couldn't imagine myself being with him.... like flashes of us hanging out and being a couple went through my mind, and I just thought I can't. Maybe I should have exchanged numbers. Get to know each other better first. At least someone is showing interest in me. But I was worried he was going to be stalk-ish. And can a relationship really start from a dirty cruising experience? I don't think so.
I still feel somewhat dirty from today. But nevertheless, a good experience to add into my journey of growing up.
XOXOX
The actual "Cruising" phenomenon probably died down since the invention of mobile apps, which makes hookups so much easier. Yet it lacks a certain thrill of those good old not-sure-what-you're-gonna-get hunts I've heard about. These days a lot of the so called cruising are premeditated online through certain channels. So when you go to a specific place at a specific time, you are bound to "run into" the person that you contacted before hand. That's not real cruising.
I admit to random trips before, but that was not what I had in mind today. Had a 3pm appointment in Bukit Bintang, but I reached earlier to have lunch and was walking around to kill time. I entered Sg. Wang Plaza since I've not been there in ages. This place is compact and has many shops, eventually I ended up near Metrojaya and was resting at the porch overlooking things happening on the ground floor. Suddenly a guy stood next to me and was looking down to. Not sure how long he had been tailing me. He started talking, I think he said something like (in Mandarin) 'This place is so quiet these days...'. I was stunned, totally didn't expect a random person would talk to me.... but I kind of figured out what his intentions were. There was some lame small talk for a bit (why are you here / did you come alone / where do you stay / you come here often), I was still processing in my mind if I should go along with it, or run away because he might be dangerous haha coz he was carrying a gym bag and I didn't know what was inside, like whether he would take out a knife and rob me when we went somewhere quiet, does he have an accomplice etc. So many thoughts crossed my mind!!
Let's talk looks. He was taller than me (+ point), wearing specs (- point), decent chest & biceps where you can tell he gyms but not hunky yet (+ point), had lots of stubby facial hair which is sexy (+ point), his arms and later I found out his junk was super hairy (+ point for me haha) as in like hair was growing more than halfway down his shaft!!, and he was tanned like a Singaporean (+ point). He didn't have screaming good looks, actually kind of geeky but was decent enough for me. He said he was 35-something (wasn't really listening) but he looked at most 28-ish. To be completely honest, if he wasn't as appealing, I would have bolted away LOL. I was excited that I was actually getting cruised, so eventually when he said 'Let's take a walk', I knew that was the cue for the next phase.
He seemed to know the place. We went 2 floors up, went to a quiet corner and through a door, then another... We reached some scary, abandoned looking lift area and he wanted to go even deeper, my instinct told me otherwise, I said 'No, I don't want to go there'. He replied 'Ok, let's go back outside'.
I then suggested the toilet, which is safer & kind of like where I'm used to operate LOL, 'OK let's go'. Went to the urinal, he whipped it out and it was already hard, I grabbed it and wanted to pull him into the stalls, only to find that one had no door, the other was locked, and the third looked ok, until we went in and the door couldn't close properly (FML), all of this happened while his cock was still out! So risky hahaha... luckily no one came in :P
'Let's find somewhere else'. At this point it was like the Amazing Race already, I discovered how much hard work public sex is. 'I know this other place, it's part of the stairs but it's a quiet spot at a dead end, the place is near the top but a little hot'. I was like 'Fine, whatever, as long as it's safe.'. 'Yes it is'. So he led me up another floor, made a turn somewhere and out of the blue there was this random door that opened to the staircase. It looked deserted. We went up 1 or 2 floors I think, turned somewhere else and went up more stairs... I think we passed by a parking lot? I saw parking pillars if not mistaken. But we were still indoors, I just didn't know where. In the corner, I looked on the wall and recognized the yellow-brown splashing stains that painted MUCH of the wall. CUM, confirm CUM stains. I know because I accidentally made a mess in my room once and the mark can still be seen today LOL. I actually asked 'Are these stains yours?' hahahahahahaha don't ask me what I was thinking, to which he replied 'No, many people come (CUM) here too'. So funny!!
Don't wanna ruin your dinner by telling you what we did.... not much.... I wanted to blow him off but he stopped me halfway, said something like 'I like you so much, I don't want it to end like that, no point if we're not making love'. I was like.......... okkkkkk, this is a hookup, I don't intend to be your wife. And frankly I have feelings for someone else. So there was a lot of cuddling and cute touching going on.... I went along with it, I don't know why..... Eventually I didn't feel safe, kept feeling like someone would walk by and hearing noises. Wanted to leave, then he just whipped his junk out again and started whacking off facing the WALL. Poor wall, I think some of those stains must be his haha, although he said 'I've not been here in months'. To be polite, I offered to lend a hand, he obliged.... He then forcefully grabbed me there and started stroking.... I didn't really had a choice so he came all over the place, I followed. This time it was the floor, not the wall. I suspect tiles would be easier to clean off. Very sorry, cleaning lady!
Could tell he was getting a little too attached, I freaked a little but played along, again. Went to the loo, cleaned up.... This guy has like Dettol shower gel and mouthrinse in his gym bag. Nope, he didn't offer any to me. He wanted to hang out, "Do you wanna go watch a movie', 'Do you have a bf?', I said I had an appointment. 'Is he a guy? Are you meeting your bf?'. 'No.'.
You know that feeling, right after sex, sometimes you feel guilty or regretful... Well, I felf kind of shitty for playing with someone I didn't really like/love, so I decided to plot my escape. I knew he was going to ask for my number before we parted ways...... He wanted to walk me back to Pavilion. Near the bridge that links Sg. Wang to Lot 10, he needed to pee, I said 'I'll wait for you outside'. The second he went in, I bolted like a race horse, it's quite hilarious thinking about it now, but when it happened I was like running for my life haha! People must think I've gone nuts. I ran across the bridge into Isetan, got down the escalators to the Hutong food court, sneaked out the other exit and basically speed walked my way into Fahrenheit 88. All of that while looking back constantly to see if he was chasing after me. Crazy right!?!?! Was sweating like crazy when I finally stopped. I went into one of the toilet stalls on the 2nd floor of Fahrenheit, and guess what? I heard people having sex in the next cubicle!! It was so obvious, I'm surprised they picked such a busy toilet. I know BB is the Golden Triangle of Gayness, but wow today I experienced first hand how happening it truly is!!
Not sure if I made the right choice to run. He's actually a decent guy. It's just that when someone gets overly interested or clingy, it scares me and I flee. That's a terrible defense mechanism. Just couldn't imagine myself being with him.... like flashes of us hanging out and being a couple went through my mind, and I just thought I can't. Maybe I should have exchanged numbers. Get to know each other better first. At least someone is showing interest in me. But I was worried he was going to be stalk-ish. And can a relationship really start from a dirty cruising experience? I don't think so.
I still feel somewhat dirty from today. But nevertheless, a good experience to add into my journey of growing up.
XOXOX
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Finally a Change
Generally, I try to be optimistic, in all aspects of life, but the truth is 2014 didn't exactly kick off in a good manner for me. From falling ill repeatedly (nothing serious, but minor annoying ailments that kept me out of sorts) to just life being stagnant, I felt lost for the first time in life.
For the past 20+ years, there was always a simple, clear goal. When you're a kid, the goal is to be a kid & have fun and be a filial son. When you're in school, the goal is to study hard and get good grades, so that you can move into a prestigious higher institution and make your parents proud. When you're a young adult, the goal is to think about what kind of future you want to have and not screw up even though there are endless temptations surrounding you. When you're in Uni, the goal is to enjoy the freedom of adulthood and graduate with a decent GPA so that you can get a job. When you have a job, the goal is to not lose it hahaha. Then what? I guess for most people it would be about building that career and building a family. It's a long road ahead, but with no clear cut path. Everybody starts to diverge and it can be quite panicky when you don't really know what to do.
The thing is......... building a family isn't really an option for us, or at least for me. And the whole career thing...... I admit to having a mini crisis early this year, especially when you see your friends and peers moving on to big companies or achieving great things.... You just start to question if you are even in the right field, is this what you really want to do as a profession.... Should I switch jobs? Am I just bored? Do I wanna stay in this line forever? Should I switch to a different field altogether? But what about my qualifications? Does it limit me to the kind of jobs I can get? Should I consider postgraduate courses? What should I study then? MBA? Masters in my field? A Bachelor's degree in a different field? Where would I study? Australia? Singapore? Local? Or maybe I should try applying for jobs abroad, for a change of scenery? What about cost of living? Being away from family? Is it worth it? Should I just be content with my current job and stop thinking too much? Am I getting paid enough, is the increment sufficient? Am I learning enough on this job or just wasting my time?
These were just some of the questions I had in my head for weeks. I sometimes wonder if I did the right course in Uni. I do like what I do on most days, but some days I just feel like doing something completely different.
So the whole career dilemma is one thing, on the other hand my personal life was also hitting crisis mode. 2013 was Year of Joe, I wasted so much time on him, but at least it kept me occupied (in a sick, twisted way)... I'm glad I came to my senses before the year ended... but that only let me to an uncertainty for 2014. You might think uncertainty is good, it opens up many possibilities... but to me, it felt like nothing was happening. Sure I could still get sex any time via casual hookups, but I was yearning for something more... And there was just no one in sight. I started to convince myself that I may well be spending the rest of my life alone & single. My personality and character is designed for a lifetime of loneliness.
No one was interested in me romantically, or maybe I was just setting the bar too high and being unrealistic. No one was really catching my eye... Nor did I feel like I would appeal to anyone..... Self esteem was kind of dipping low low low haha....
Things started to turn around lately... career wise I feel much more settled, my mind that is. I've decided to stay at my current job for at least till the end of the year, just to persevere and show that I'm not a fickle minded quitter. It isn't bad to be honest, I do have nice colleagues and a decent pay, so I realized I shouldn't complain or compare so much.
Love life wise.... well it's still a long way to go, but at least I'm getting some interaction with a number of guys haha... There are a couple of guys I've been getting to know better on Jack'd, and then there are a couple of seriously sexy guys that I exchange pictures and dirty thoughts with (LOL), and there is also this 1 guy at the gym........... Hahahaha I know I know, you guys are going to warn me from going down that road AGAIN... Just that this cute, slight hunky guy has been exchanging eye contact with me, we have had some 'moments'. I don't really know how to interpret it yet, but experience tells me that guys these appealing to me are usually straight, and that I'm totally imagining things.... So I'm reminding myself every day not to fantasize too much and stay realistic. But at the same time, be open to possibilities :P
OK I should get some sleep.... On a random note, the whole water rationing thing is just so bloody inconvenient and annoying! Fuck this shit.... OK, sorry that was crude.
XOXO
For the past 20+ years, there was always a simple, clear goal. When you're a kid, the goal is to be a kid & have fun and be a filial son. When you're in school, the goal is to study hard and get good grades, so that you can move into a prestigious higher institution and make your parents proud. When you're a young adult, the goal is to think about what kind of future you want to have and not screw up even though there are endless temptations surrounding you. When you're in Uni, the goal is to enjoy the freedom of adulthood and graduate with a decent GPA so that you can get a job. When you have a job, the goal is to not lose it hahaha. Then what? I guess for most people it would be about building that career and building a family. It's a long road ahead, but with no clear cut path. Everybody starts to diverge and it can be quite panicky when you don't really know what to do.
The thing is......... building a family isn't really an option for us, or at least for me. And the whole career thing...... I admit to having a mini crisis early this year, especially when you see your friends and peers moving on to big companies or achieving great things.... You just start to question if you are even in the right field, is this what you really want to do as a profession.... Should I switch jobs? Am I just bored? Do I wanna stay in this line forever? Should I switch to a different field altogether? But what about my qualifications? Does it limit me to the kind of jobs I can get? Should I consider postgraduate courses? What should I study then? MBA? Masters in my field? A Bachelor's degree in a different field? Where would I study? Australia? Singapore? Local? Or maybe I should try applying for jobs abroad, for a change of scenery? What about cost of living? Being away from family? Is it worth it? Should I just be content with my current job and stop thinking too much? Am I getting paid enough, is the increment sufficient? Am I learning enough on this job or just wasting my time?
These were just some of the questions I had in my head for weeks. I sometimes wonder if I did the right course in Uni. I do like what I do on most days, but some days I just feel like doing something completely different.
So the whole career dilemma is one thing, on the other hand my personal life was also hitting crisis mode. 2013 was Year of Joe, I wasted so much time on him, but at least it kept me occupied (in a sick, twisted way)... I'm glad I came to my senses before the year ended... but that only let me to an uncertainty for 2014. You might think uncertainty is good, it opens up many possibilities... but to me, it felt like nothing was happening. Sure I could still get sex any time via casual hookups, but I was yearning for something more... And there was just no one in sight. I started to convince myself that I may well be spending the rest of my life alone & single. My personality and character is designed for a lifetime of loneliness.
No one was interested in me romantically, or maybe I was just setting the bar too high and being unrealistic. No one was really catching my eye... Nor did I feel like I would appeal to anyone..... Self esteem was kind of dipping low low low haha....
Things started to turn around lately... career wise I feel much more settled, my mind that is. I've decided to stay at my current job for at least till the end of the year, just to persevere and show that I'm not a fickle minded quitter. It isn't bad to be honest, I do have nice colleagues and a decent pay, so I realized I shouldn't complain or compare so much.
Love life wise.... well it's still a long way to go, but at least I'm getting some interaction with a number of guys haha... There are a couple of guys I've been getting to know better on Jack'd, and then there are a couple of seriously sexy guys that I exchange pictures and dirty thoughts with (LOL), and there is also this 1 guy at the gym........... Hahahaha I know I know, you guys are going to warn me from going down that road AGAIN... Just that this cute, slight hunky guy has been exchanging eye contact with me, we have had some 'moments'. I don't really know how to interpret it yet, but experience tells me that guys these appealing to me are usually straight, and that I'm totally imagining things.... So I'm reminding myself every day not to fantasize too much and stay realistic. But at the same time, be open to possibilities :P
OK I should get some sleep.... On a random note, the whole water rationing thing is just so bloody inconvenient and annoying! Fuck this shit.... OK, sorry that was crude.
XOXO
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