The End of Eric

This is the last post about him. I probably will mention him in the future, but there will no longer be entire posts about him.

Before I continue embarking on my soul searching journey, I had to get a final word from him. I never had proper closure, he just stayed silent all this while. So he's always in my head. Never could get him out completely because in my mind, I somehow believed that there may still be hope.

You guys may not get it, but what I feel for him is real. The feeling has been lingering for so long so I know what it is. I'm quite sure it's not just lust and infatuation. I really feel like we would compliment each other well and he is a good guy you know. Serious about work and friendly and responsible. Good candidate for a husband you know.

So I sent him a message this evening. Will not post what I said here. But I think his response will be sufficient:
Aren't you persistent.
But seriously u gotta move on. I am not what you are looking for . I hope you found the right person one day . Bye and good luck for your exams.

He said it in a nice way. Notice that he said 'I am not what you are looking for' instead of 'You are not what I am looking for'. He's being polite. But I wish he would have said more. Like why not give me a chance, or what exactly was the problem. But it's enough. I don't need to hear anymore.

Oh well. There. This is closure. I was sad. Still a little sad now. Not angry at him. Not angry at the world. I think the fact that I have already been trying to forget him and moving on for weeks now is helpful. It's like cushioning the impact. So now I don't feel as bad. Maybe it's the numbness as well.

I got what I wanted. The truth. And he was sweet enough to deliver it in a thoughtful way. IT'S OFFICIALLY OVER.

Alright.. I'm just going to be sad for a little while now.... Tomorrow when I wake up, it will be a new day.